Jennifer Lawrence Has Feet (We Promise), So Why Does She Keep Falling?

Like a baby unsure of its own feet and drunk off Mom’s creme de menthe, Jennifer Lawrence simply cannot stay on her feet! Last night, on the red carpet for the Madrid premiere of “The Hunger Games,” America’s crass’n’sassy sweetheart did what she does best –she fell. Again. For like the third time. Instead of rising to her defense and coming for the nefarious red carpet that was surely her undoing, the rest of the world sighed, checked Instagram one last time and went to bed.

This is not new, you see. Jennifer Lawrence can’t stop falling. She literally doesn’t know how to walk 10-feet down a red carpet, pose in front of a step and repeat, and keep moving with there being at least a stumble in her gait.

Remember when she fell at the Oscars in 2013?

That dress looks pretty unmanageable, but I don’t know, Jennifer’s been a famous for a long time, shouldn’t she be good at wearing heels and Spanx and pounds of satin? We accepted her clumsiness then as a part of the endearing pizza-and-fart aesthetic she’s crafted for herself, but nothing beautiful lasts forever.

Here she is falling again in 2014:

This time, she almost took someone down with her. Three is a trend, as someone somewhere always says, and here we have it. The fall is fake. It’s a carefully deployed and well-executed PR strategy to keep her in our minds and hearts as a woman so relatable and cute that she could effectively kill your cat and you wouldn’t be mad, because she loves pizza and she’s clumsy JUST LIKE YOU AREEEEE!!!

The J.Law truthers are out here. We are legion. Come clean, Lawrence. The truth will set you free and keep you upright.