Thoroughly Creep Yourself Out And Cure Your Insatiable Loneliness With Morning Man Alarm Clock

Envision this, though it’s after 4 p.m.: It’s morning. Feel the light from the rising sun hit your face. Stir gently as you wake up to the sweet sounds of a strange British man whispering in your ear. “It’s time to wake up, my love,” he asks. You roll over in confusion and fear. How did this man get into your bed? Didn’t you just watch “The Good Wife” and fall asleep eating Haribo gummy peaches? “It’s time to wake up, my love,” he insists, growing louder and somehow more intense. Wake up. You better wake up. Who in the hell is in your bed? Why are they there? What is even happening?

Don’t worry, that’s just Morning Man Alarm clock, an app that replaces your usual shrieking siren with the gentle whispers of a random European man, urging you to wake up by instilling confusion that you might have spent the night with a stranger.

Cuffing season approaches with a quickness, so if you haven’t managed to snag yourself a winter boyfriend, this app is maybe the next best thing.

[The Cut]