Why It Matters That Ben Carson Believes The Pyramids Were Built To Store Grain

Yesterday, Buzzfeed unearthed a video of GOP Presidential hopeful Ben Carson giving a commencement speech at Andrews University — which is affiliated with the 7th Day Adventist Church — in which he explained his theory that the pyramids were not built as tombs for pharaohs, but for grain storage.

He claims that despite what actual archeologists say, the Biblical Joseph actually built the pyramids, with God’s help, in order to store grain for a coming famine:

“My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain. Now all the archeologists think that they were made for the pharaohs’ graves. But, you know, it would have to be something awfully big if you stop and think about it. And I don’t think it’d just disappear over the course of time to store that much grain.”

And when you look at the way that the pyramids are made, with many chambers that are hermetically sealed, they’d have to be that way for various reasons.And various of scientists have said, ‘well, you know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how-’ you know, it doesn’t require an alien being when God is with you.”

No. No. Just no. First of all, pyramids aren’t hollow and thus would not be able to store all that much grain. Carson’s theory is not only just untrue, it is logistically impossible. For what it’s worth, the pyramids aren’t even mentioned in the damn Bible.

On Wednesday night, Carson stood by that statement and confirmed to CBS News that he still believed this to be true.

Please understand. This is the equivalent of me telling Dr. Ben Carson that I believe that the human brain is made up entirely of licorice all-sorts and pocket lint and that brain tumors are the result of mischievous fairies playing tricks, and firmly believing that my theory on this should be taken with as much weight as his, even though he is a neurosurgeon and I am not. You know, because we’re all entitled to our opinions, even when our opinions are objectively wrong!

This is a running theme among conservative politicians as of late. Mike Huckabee thinks he can just imagineer his own plan for how the Supreme Court works. When Carly Fiorina finally got around to admitting that her “92 percentjob loss for women” statistic was grossly inaccurate, she insisted that the real problem was that the mean liberal media fact-checked her statement instead of just believing it.

Most of them think they know better than scientists when it comes to things like evolution and global warming. They think it doesn’t matter if economists agree that a 10 or 15 percent flat tax would be financially devastating for the country — and find it positively rude of debate moderators to question how they think it would work.

It’s more truthiness than lies. The consensus has been that it doesn’t matter whether or not the things they say are true, as long as they “feel” them to be true. They are demanding to be treated like children who still believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. They insist upon being coddled. “Oh yes, Ben Carson! Your ideas about the pyramids are just as good as that of an archaeologist’s! Now make sure you eat your vegetables, my special boy!”

This should be the end of his career. We should not have a president that looks at all the evidence, knows what the experts has to say, and goes the complete opposite direction. That is not exercising good judgement. But–the people who are voting for him believe that having “faith” in the face of facts is the most saintly thing a person can do. It’s a plus. To them, it shows character.

It is objectively horrifying that we are currently living in a country where one of the frontrunners of the next presidential election feels free to make up his own theories about the goddamned pyramids. It is even more scary that this will not likely doom his campaign, because so many of his supporters will simply applaud his deeply held faith and not even find this odd.


[Washington Post]

[CBS News]