Muva Knows Best: Valuable Life Lessons From Amber Rose’s How To Be A Bad Bitch

If you want to live your life right, there’s a whole slew of advice books out there for how to do just that. But the only person you should actually be taking advice from is Amber Rose. Yes, she came to fame as a video girl, then continued her ascendancy by being attached to Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa, but she’s an entrepreneur, a mother and an all around bad bitch who isn’t afraid to take whatever shit life has doled out and make it her own.

Her first book (out this week), How To Be A Bad Bitch, is less memoir and more valuable roadmap to living life in her image: strong, powerful, unwilling to take anyone’s shit. And, not surprisingly, it’s full of solid advice, the kind you seek when you’re in the pits of despair about all the things going sideways in your own life. There aren’t any crazy reveals or insane twists that you otherwise wouldn’t know. If you’ve paid attention to Amber Rose’s trajectory, then you’re aware that she’s pretty open about everything in her life, without any underlying motives. She is who she is, full stop.

The book is a master class in not giving a fuck and living your life without shame, without regret and without fear. It wouldn’t hurt for all of us to channel our inner bad bitch. Here are some of the more valuable things we learned from the Muva herself, Amber Rose.

Bad bitches always do it for themselves.

Being a bad bitch doesn’t mean acting like a literal bitch and expecting a parade for your advancements from society. You can still be a bad bitch and be nice to other people. But the driving ethos behind bad bitchiness is doing it for yourself. A bad bitch puts herself first, because at the end of the day, you have to look out for number one. It’s less about selfishness and more about self-preservation in the face of a world that often conspires to tear you from limb to limb. “A bad bitch is the mistress of her reality,” Rose writes. “This means formulating a vision of who you are and what you want and then taking the necessary steps until you have it all.” Your vision is the motive. Find it, embrace it.

Find your look, whatever it may be, and stick with it. 

Just like all the lady mags tell you, fuck trends if they don’t work for you and stick with what does. Amber Rose shaved her head and dyed it platinum because that’s what she wanted to do. She knew that look worked for her and so she went with it. Wear whatever the hell makes you feel good. Do you like caftans? Leather shift dresses? Soft pants and professional clogs? Who cares! Do you. Wear what you want, Rose argues, and you will look and feel and be your best human, hands down.

You’re always worth more than you think you are.

Understanding your own self worth is so valuable. Confidence and its attendant emotions go a long way in making yourself feel better. Radiate power. Radiate self-acceptance. “I think half the time we get criticized, it’s because we’re giving off vibes that we’re looking for approval or even just acceptance,” Rose writes. Do yourself a favor and understand that you don’t need anyone else’s acceptance or approval, and the rest will fall into place.

Keep an eye on your money, your power, and who you trust.

Your money is just that — yours. Watch it. Guard it. Be on top of it. Don’t let shit fall to the wayside. In the same vein, understand that you have power. Your power is in who you choose to trust, because trust is valuable. “You could be the type of person who wears your emotions on your sleeve, but only give people you trust your most precious gets: your heart, your self, your soul,” Rose advises. “And before you do, make sure they earn your trust. Don’t just give that away either.” Why would you trust people you barely know? Why would you be so willing to just give away all of yourself to someone you just met? Protect yourself.

Ignore the trolls, the haters, the dissenters, and those who conspire to bring you down.

Here is perhaps the most valuable lesson of all: ignore the haters. It’s easier said than done, but look at it this way. You, the person reading this, probably have a few haters. They might not make themselves known to you, but they are out there. You can either chose to dwell on this fact, or you can just do what you’ve been doing your whole life, which is pretending that they don’t exist. If one of them comes to you, somehow, and says something shitty to you, that sucks. But that’s one drop in the bucket. Imagine you’re a celebrity. Imagine the utter filth that resides in Amber Rose’s Twitter mentions. Imagine all the vitriol you’ve ever heard about yourself multiplied by thousands, and you probably have an idea of what Amber Rose deals with on the regular. She ignores the haters because it’s so easy to fall into the spiral of self-hate. Pay the basement trolls no mind and you’ll be all right.