Portland Woman Disrupts Protest Against Planned Parenthood By Chanting “Yeast Infections!”

The right wing would have you believe that Planned Parenthood is only in the business of pressuring women into aborting pregnancies and selling those fetal parts for profit, but if you’re a woman who has ever been without health insurance, than you know that PP provides oh so much more! Like STD testing, regular pap smears, birth control, breast exams and mammograms, and, of course, diagnosing and medicating yeast infections, or as I like to call them, CROTCH MONKEYS.

When Portland woman Mary Numair was in her twenties, she was plagued by frequent recurring yeast infections that, without Planned Parenthood’s affordable sliding scale, she would not have been able to treat. And when anti-abortionists staged a protest outside the PP down the street from the coffee shop (called Purringtons Cat Lounge, BTW) where she works, Numair knew she couldn’t sit idly by and do nothing. So she made her own protest sign, thanking PP for treating her yeast infections, complete with a smiley vagina.

“In my first 30 seconds of walking out there, I did get called a whore,” Numair told Slate. “One woman was shaking her head. I knelt down to her kid and said, ‘Do you know about yeast infections?’”

But every good protest needs a rallying cry.

“I don’t know why I started chanting ‘Yeast infections!’ but it just came out,” Numair told Slate about her moment of brilliance. “I have this cold, so it was just this obnoxious squeak, cheerleader-like. And I started doing high kicks, which I don’t normally do, in my skinny jeans.” Oh my god, I fucking love this chick. Best of all, her chanting actually worked — the group of protestors who were holding a prayer circle — eye roll – ended up dispersing the louder Numair’s cries grew.

Numair says she’ll be continuing her counter protest when she can (and she’s in the market for a upgraded sign featuring wooden labia) because she’s that supportive of Planned Parenthood’s commitment to comprehensive healthcare for women.

“They do so much beyond abortions,” she told Slate. “I’m very much pro-choice, but if you want to take it beyond pro-choice and pro-life, there are … all these other things that are uncomfortable to talk about and [get treated if] you don’t want to wait two weeks to see your primary doctor or you don’t have health insurance.”

And, as her first protest proves, shouting “yeast infections!” makes anti-abortionists more uncomfortable than the crotch monkeys Planned Parenthood treats. Mission accomplished!