What A Time To Be Alive: Beyonce And Channing Tatum Will Face Off On “Lip Sync Battle”

This is not a drill: “Entertainment Tonight” reports that Beyoncé is heading to Spike’s wonderfully underrated gem of a television program, “Lip Sync Battle,” to take on Channing Tatum in what will surely be a battle for the ages. There’s no official word on when their episode will air –all we know is that it’s apparently happening and it’s going to be something you can tell your grandkids about when you’re floating in your hover-wheelchair in the nursing home.

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What songs will they do?! What dances will they perform? Will Beyonce lip sync to Chan-Chan’s favorite, “Pony,” while wearing a welder’s mask, a Swarovski-dusted leotard and two pairs of dance tights? Is Channing planning on wiggling his sizable bod into a leotard and showing us that he knows the whole “Single Ladies” dance?

We don’t know any of the answers to the questions above, though I’d like to submit a request for the above Beyoncé-“Pony”-welder’s mask into the universe. What we do know, however, is that whatever Channing Tatum brings to the table, short of whipping his dick out on national television and gently tapping the camera with it, it will not be enough. He can try — and he will, rest easy — but he will not win. Beyoncé is Beyoncé — she’s got this. [ET]