Wanna Be A Fox News “Terror Expert?” Just Lie About Being A CIA Agent

Have you always thought you’d be good on TV, but have absolutely no credentials? Well! Do I have an idea for you!

You could follow in the footsteps of one Wayne Simmons, who since 2002 has been appearing on Fox News as a “terror expert,” based on his 27-year career with the CIA. The only thing is, it’s possible that this career only happened in his imagination. Simmons has now been arrested for, essentially, pretending to have been a CIA operative.

But get this, ok? Dude appeared on television for 13 years. He wrote a fiction novel he claimed was based around his experiences with the CIA. Said novel was reportedly blurbed by Donald Rumsfeld, although that may have been entirely made up as well. He spoke at GOP fundraisers! He even got government contracts and special clearance! And no one thought to check him out!

In his website bio, he claims that “he was recruited by the Central Intelligence Agency to became part of an Outside Paramilitary Special Operations Group. He spearheaded Deep Cover Intel Ops against some of the world’s most dangerous Drug Cartels and arms smugglers from Central and South America and the Middle East.”

However, prosecutors and people from the Navy say there is literally no record of this dude ever having been in the Navy, or recruited for anything. No one has ever heard of this guy!

To boot, he apparently has quite the criminal record, which he had explained away by saying it was all part of his various “ops” that he was doing as a CIA agent.

Simmons is also being charged with real estate fraud, after having convinced someone to go in on a $125,000 real estate investment with him and then running off with their money. Reportedly, he used his pretend CIA credentials to bolster the victim’s confidence.

If all of this turns out to be true, Wayne Simmons may well be one of the greatest conmen in history.

Now, as fascinating as this all is, it’s also extremely messed up. As Crooks and Liars points out, although Simmons was never paid by Fox for his appearances, he was on there, as a supposed “expert” with real experience, endorsing torture and claiming there are at least “19 paramilitary Muslim training facilities in the U.S.”

Not only that, but dude actually got government contracts and special security clearances based on his claims, which it turns out were made up. Granted, that’s what got him investigated in the first place–but holy crap it took long enough, didn’t it? That’s actually really scary, and really does not say anything very good about our security measures if we’re just letting random dudes who claim to have been in the CIA in wherever they want without checking them out first.

I’m calling it now–there’s gonna be a movie about this dude and it is going to win alllllllll of the Oscars.

[Washington Post]