This Week In Idiot Matchmaking: DUI Dummies

“Drunk driving is not cool,” slurred Whitney Marie Beall, 23, on Saturday as she livestreamed her imminent DUI on Periscope. We couldn’t agree more — with her words, that is, not her dangerous actions. Drunk driving is not cool, but you know what is? Matchmaking!

Beall’s story broke only days after Reliford Cooper, 26, was arrested for a DUI, which he blamed on his dog. Upon further review it seems they have more in common than bad judgment. We really hope these idiots find each other.

Not only do they both live in Florida (duh), but they’re only three years apart so they will totally get each other’s pop culture references. Cooper also ran from the scene, so Beall can assume he’s athletic. If that weren’t enough of a bonus, the guy has a dog. A man that cares for an animal can be very attractive, especially when he only throws it under a figurative bus. Swoon!

Sure, these two should probably focus more on bettering themselves than on dating. But in case that doesn’t happen, maybe they can learn to love each other – and public transit.

[Yahoo News]

[NY Daily News]