Rupert Murdoch Is Totes Sorry He Said Obama Wasn’t A “Real” Black President

Rupert Murdoch, CEO of News Corp and Fox/Real Life Bad Guy From Every Frank Capra Movie ever, ignited a Twitter firestorm last night after suggesting that President Obama was not a “real” black President.

It is unclear as to whether Murdoch thought that President Obama was, in fact, a figment of his imagination (After all–Fox News is known to just make shit up half the time), whether he was not a real black person, or whether he was not our real President. Who knows! It is a mystery!

Frankly, what is even more hilarious is the idea of Ben Carson “properly addressing the racial divide.” How? By rallying all the black people and telling them there’s no reason to get so gosh darned upset about racism and police brutality and that it would be swell if they could just calm down and leave all the nice white people alone? Even if that were a good idea, which I maintain it is definitely not, I don’t think it’s gonna happen at this point. Sorry Rupert!

If I want someone to accidentally leave a sponge in my head during surgery, I will be sure to get in touch with Dr. Carson — but barring that circumstance, it’s unlikely I’ll require his services for anything else.

Anyway, this morning, likely after seeing the Twitter fall out, Murdoch tweeted out a half-hearted apology insisting he didn’t mean to offend anyone.

“No offence [sic] meant!,” ladies and gentlemen. How could Rupert Murdoch have possibly known that people might find it a tad rude to suggest that President Obama is not a Real Black President! He was caught completely unaware by the fact that insulting people is practically just like…insulting people! And that the entire purpose of insulting people is to offend them! These are all new concepts to Rupert Murdoch! Either that or he thought it was opposite day.