Drunk Man Calls 911 During Hurricane Because Girlfriend Wouldn’t “Give Him Any Ass”

Patrick Doggett, a 53-year-old man from Spartanburg, South Carolina, called 911 on Tuesday because his girlfriend “would not give him any ass.”

As Hurricane Joaquin was causing dams to breach in the state, Doggett, truly a keen observer of human suffering, identified the real emergency going on. OK, to be fair, he was drunk. But apparently his girlfriend had her grandchild at her house, his drunkenness wasn’t exactly a selling point for ass-giving on top of the fact that she was babysitting, and she told him no, at which point he went into crisis mode.

The police didn’t find any signs of physical abuse, just a really, really drunk guy who thought that this was the best possible use of public resources during a hurricane (or otherwise, really). When the cops showed up, Doggett’s comment was, simply, “Fuck that bitch.” Charming!

This story would be funnier if a kid in Idaho wasn’t saying he’d kill all the girls because cheerleaders won’t give him nudes and if a domestic abuser in Houston weren’t camping out on his lawn after his wife threw him out and changed the locks just to spite her. It’s not that Doggett’s behavior is as egregious, it’s just that this sense of entitlement to women’s bodies gets pretty old to hear about pretty fast.

 

[New York Daily News]
[CNN]
[RawStory]
[Washington Post]
Image via Shutterstock
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