Mike Huckabee To Valiantly Refuse To Eat Doritos, Because Jesus
Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee feels very importantly about taking on the biggest issues of our time — thus, he is leading the charge for Good Christians everywhere to boycott Frito-Lay products over Rainbow Doritos.
As you may recall from a couple weeks ago, Rainbow Doritos were a limited edition bag of rainbow-colored Doritos given away to anyone who donated $10 to the “It Gets Better” Project, which is devoted to fighting anti-LGBT bullying. Huckabee is apparently upset because the company is supporting “the gay agenda” and also because of its association with Dan Savage, whom he believes espouses “anti-Christian” views.
Huckabee actually wrote a letter to Frito-Lay, demanding they stop it with their rainbows chips at once. He included a video in which he claimed Dan Savage said mean things about Christians, but in fact only said mean things about Mike Huckabee. Not that it should even matter, but Dan Savage isn’t even actively affiliated with “It Gets Better” anymore anyway.
Huckabee and David Lane of the American Renewal Project are banding together to encourage pastors to “pray” about this important issue, and to encourage Christians not to eat Frito-Lay products until they come out and say, “We’re sorry! You’re right, Mike Huckabee! Gay people are bad!” or something. In a letter to 100,000 pastors across America, Lane wrote “This is a battle for the soul of America,” because “religious freedom created America.”
There is a joke to be made somewhere about the soul of America and snack foods, but I’m going to refrain from making it right now.
Now, I will say that I am hugely, hugely in favor of boycotts. I very firmly believe in the whole “vote with your feet, vote with your dollar” thing, and I will support anyone’s right to boycott whether or not I agree with their reasons for doing so. But you know who does not believe in boycotts so much? Mike Huckabee!
In fact, when people organized to boycott Chick-Fil-A due to CEO Dan Cathy’s bigoted statements against gay people, as well as the Cathy family’s tendency to donate millions to anti-gay marriage organizations and ex-gay ministries like Exodus international, Huckabee decried it as “economic terrorism.” He also claimed that boycotting the business infringed upon the religious liberty of the owners, somehow.
I don’t care if Mike Huckabee wants to eat Doritos or not! Eat, don’t eat — makes no difference to me! In fact, I feel it is entirely unnecessary for me to know a single thing about Mike Huckabee’s food preferences! I 100 percent believe he has the right to not want to give his money to a company that supports causes he opposes, and to encourage the three percent of Americans who think he’d be a swell President to boycott them as well.
What is not OK is supporting the concept of a boycott when it’s a cause you believe in, but deeming it “economic terrorism” when other people do it. That, on it’s face, is completely absurd.