Vatican: Pope Francis Is Down With His Gay Buddy, Not Kim Davis
What does Kim Davis do with her gay friends? Deny them marriage licenses. What does the Pope do with his gay friends? He grants them the only “real audience” he gave during his entire visit to America. Point: Pope.
The Vatican is continuing to backpedal on what they’re now realizing was a tremendous mistake in coming into contact with America’s current favorite fame-seeking homophobe. They’ve released a statement clarifying that Kim Davis’s brief contact with Pope Francis was really more of a “hi”-and-handshake type thing, and mentioned that the Pope only had one formal audience while he was in the U.S., with a former student.
The New York Times tracked that student down, and it turns out it was Yayo Grassi, a gay Argentinian-American who attended the high school where Francis, then Jorge Mario Bergoglio, had taught literature and psychology. The two have stayed in contact over the years, and when Grassi, who now lives in Washington with his partner of 19 years, heard that Francis would be coming to America, he contacted the Pope’s office to see if he could get an audience.
Grassi said: “Once I saw how busy and exhausting his schedule was in D.C., I wrote back to him saying perhaps it would be better to meet some other time. Then he called me on the phone and he told me that he would love to give me a hug in Washington.” Dang. Bro’s getting calls from the Pope.
Grassi brought his boyfriend and four friends to meet the Pope, and they hung out for about twenty minutes, which in Pope Time has to be like an hour, right? And Francis did, in fact, give him a hug that his boyfriend captured on video, which is more than Davis can say for her claims of getting a hug and being told to “stay strong.” (By the way, does that seem awfully colloquial for a man who really doesn’t speak much English to anyone else?)
Davis’s lawyer, Matthew Staver, has spun an incredibly fantastical tale about how Davis came to meet the Pope. According to Staver, Davis was picked up from her hotel by a tan van containing Italian bodyguards who extended the invitation and told her to change her hairstyle so that she wouldn’t be recognized. He also denies the Vatican’s clarification that Davis was part of a large audience, saying, “Just think about it. If she was in a line, there’s no way this would have been kept secret for five days.” To which I respond, just think about it, Staver: Maybe not every American cares enough about Kim Davis to recognize her, and maybe she is not a particularly distinct-looking American, besides.
The Vatican refutes Staver’s dramatic story, as well, saying that invitations are extended by the Nuncio in Washington and organized by Archbishop Vigano, the Pope’s representative in the United States – not Rome, and in all probability, not a bunch of Italian bodyguards in a van.
So, it turns out Kim Davis is a liar on top of being entitled and homophobic. Who would have guessed?
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