The Frisky Speculates: Why Did Leonardo Dicaprio Not Pass His Vape Pen To Miley Cyrus?

It’s a pretty slow news day for anything that is not about either the Oregon shooter or the Pope’s feelings about Kim Davis. So slow, in fact, that we have spotted a PLETHORA of articles about how Miley Cyrus told Jimmy Fallon that, during some kind of thing for the “SNL” 40th anniversary show, Leonardo DiCaprio smoked a vape pen right in front of her and did not pass it! Can you believe?!

Via Vanity Fair:

“I was the only chick,” Cyrus said, setting the scene for her tale. “And [I was] the only one that wasn’t old. . . er. Besides Kanye [West], but even he is pretty old, compared to me. But he’s about to be our future president, so maybe I shouldn’t say too much.”

“It was kind of weird. I was sitting there and I was like 20 feet, 15 feet from Leonardo DiCaprio sitting there with his mom. He was hitting a vape pen,” Cyrus recounted.

“But it wasn’t him that was making me kind of nervous,” Cyrus explained. “I was feeling this emotion because there’s, like, a kind of etiquette-cy of when you’re there, you’ve got to pass that s—t, Leo. And he never did. So that was weird to me. He wasn’t passing the vape.”

I know, I know. It’s riveting. Leonardo DiCaprio did not share his vape with Miley Cyrus. But WHY? Clearly it is a mystery for the ages.

STILL! We have some theories.

1. The immediate and most popular theory in the Frisky Slack chat was that Leo had gone SUPER METHOD while playing Howard Hughes, and is now a super germaphobe — thus, he does not share his vape with anyone, even or perhaps especially Miley Cyrus.

2. I think he might have had something in there other than pot. Like, I use a nicotine “vape” (which I insist on calling a fake cigarette because vape sounds dumb) and I don’t ever offer that to anyone.

ALTERNATELY, he could have another elicit substance in there. What? I don’t know. Maybe he’s secretly addicted to ether, like that doctor in “Cider House Rules”? And he doesn’t want anyone to find out about it?

3. He was worried the Pussy Posse would get jealous?

4. Amelia posits that maybe using his vape is the way ladies are inducted into the Pussy Posse, and maybe Leo didn’t think Miley was a good fit?

5. It’s a religious thing?

6. He had a cold or some other kind of communicable illness and was being gracious by not wanting to give it to anyone else.

7. He didn’t want to end up as part of one of Miley’s stories about how she DEFINITELY SMOKES WEED, and totally even smoked weed with Leonardo DiCaprio this one time. In which case, the plan backfired, because instead she is telling a story about Leo NOT vaping with her.

8. Leonardo DiCaprio is a jerk who hates sharing.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS, while searching for a feature image for this post, I came across this thing. In which someone decided, for reasons, to morph Miley and Leo’s faces together, and it is both horrifying and yet not altogether unattractive.