Honey Boo Boo Has A Music Video, So Maybe The Apocalypse Did Happen Last Weekend

Like many of you, I imagine, I scoffed when I heard that a bunch of weird Mormons thought that last Sunday’s Blood Moon meant either the end of the world, or the start of the apocalypse. But I’m starting to have second thoughts after seeing this Honey Boo Boo music video, titled, with a tinge of ironic melancholy, “Movin’ Up.”

It’s not that I’m not a fan of outsider art. I love Henry Darger, and I was thrilled to pieces when I found out that Meryl Streep would be playing Florence Foster Jenkins in a biopic of her life. But like–from whence did this come? It had seemed as though we might never hear from the Honey Boo Boo gang again, and then this happened and I’m not sure what it is or what is even going on.

I mean, the last thing we heard from them is when we found out Mama June’s ex had molested Chickadee — who is conspicuously absent from the video. Then they come out and try to start a new dance craze? It’s disconcerting! Also it hurts my ears.

This kid needs to step back from trying to be in the limelight. I’m telling you, 20 years tops, she’s gonna be singing “I’ve Written A Letter To Daddy” and serving Pumpkin rats for dinner. I’m calling it now.