40 Percent Of Americans Want To Build A Wall Across Canadian Border

Oh cripes. This is just sad. It’s so sad. It’s cringe-inducingly sad. It is the saddest and most pathetic thing I’ve heard in my whole entire life.

As you may have gathered from the headline, according to a recent Bloomberg Politics poll, 41 percent of Americans think that we should build a wall along the border of Canada to prevent all the Canadians from coming in and stealing all our jobs and taking advantage of our obscenely high prices for prescription drugs! You know, because that is a really good use of our money.

I come from a little town called Rochester, NY, where we spent $30 million on a Fast Ferry in the hope that Canadians would want to take weekend trips down and do tourist things there, like golf and go to our very large Wegman’s. I remember this all very clearly since at the time, I was working with some people trying to raise money for a hypothermia shelter so that homeless people didn’t freeze to death during the winter, and the city was like “No way, we’ve gotta spend all our money on this Ferry in order to build our tourism industry. Because of all the tourists we’re gonna get.”

The Canadians never came, OK? And the Fast Ferry was seized by creditors and is now maybe somewhere in the Strait of Gibraltar.

The lesson here? Don’t spend a crap ton of money betting that Canadians really want to come here because they probably don’t.

Also, the wall idea is creepy as hell, way too expensive, and — sorry for the Dad joke here — decidedly unReaganesque.


Let’s be honest here, folks — if for some reason Donald Trump is elected President, that wall is going to be a lot more useful to the Canadians than would be to us. Also, just in case, if any super awesome Canadian dudes are interested, I am currently single and I like to plan ahead.

Anyway, part of the reason these people support this wall is because they think if we put a wall up between us and Mexico that the Mexicans will just sneak in through the Canadian border.

Via Kansas City Star:

Jake Crosan, 73, a retired truck driver from Pigeon Forge, Tenn., is someone who does favor a wall along the Canadian border, if one is built along the southern border.

“If you cut off one, they’re going to come in the other way,” said Crosan, a Trump supporter. “It’s desolate up there in some places on the Canadian border and they’ve gotta do something up there to stop them from coming in.”

Asked if he worried of the cost of such a project, Crosan said it would be a good investment for the government and American people. “The money we would save by keeping the illegals out would pay for itself,” he said. “They’re taking our jobs, and the more people we get back to work, they pay taxes. It’ll pay for itself.”

Oh god, this is so sad. Dude, Jake. That is not even sort of true. That is literally the opposite of true.

In 2007, the Congressional Budget Office determined that “over the past two decades, most efforts to estimate the fiscal impact of immigration in the United States have concluded that, in aggregate and over the long term, tax revenues of all types generated by immigrants—both legal and unauthorized—exceed the cost of the services they use.”

The fact is, Jakes out there, your best bet to actually achieve what it is you want would be to eliminate all tax breaks for companies who manufacture products overseas in order to skirt U.S. labor laws. Because either they’ll pay more in taxes, or they’ll just suck it up and bring the jobs back here. Either way, it’s a win.

Building a wall is stupid. Donald Trump is stupid. Crying about undocumented immigrants is stupid. It’s a whole “look here, don’t look here!” thing, and trust, this is in no way our biggest problem. And if you’re gonna demand that we spend our tax money on dumbass things like this, you are in no position to go around whining about anything tax-related again, ever.