Thank Us Later: The Pax2 Lets You Live Your Teenage Dirtbag Dreams As An Adult

As a teen and then a grown adult, I have been a casual pothead. Aside from a heady three-week period between handing in my last paper and graduation, in which I smoked a lot of pot and played an awful lot of video games in my tiny apartment, I’ve never been someone to actively, you know, smoke a lot of weed. It’s not because I don’t love it — I do, I really do. I just never actually took the steps you’d need to take to become an active consumer of marijuana. The paraphernalia seems intimidating; I lack the disaffected chill needed to roll a joint on the back of a book while in deep conversation, so if I want to get high, I’d rely on the generosity of others. This freeloader shit is cute when you’re 22, less so when you’re 27, and by the time you’ve inched past 30, if you’re still sidling up to friends with weed and ducking your head when they proffer the joint in faux-embarassment, then you need to reassess your life choices. Then, an angel descended from the heavens and slipped a PAX2 vaporizer into my waiting hands and my life was changed forever.

The PAX2 is shiny and slick in the way a new iPod is, all brushed metal and chrome, with no discernible on and off switch. It’s just this thing that you can stick in your pocket that happens to also let you smoke pot pretty much wherever your heart sees fit. It’s highly portable, pretty durable and functions as a neat party trick when you quietly remove it from your bag and start vaping, bro.

The PAX is meant to be used with dry material, so grind up whatever it is you want to smoke — tobacco, weed, dried kale (don’t do this, please) — and pack it into the little chamber, easily accessed by a magnetic lid that actually stays on. Once it’s all set, push the button and wait for it to heat up. There’s an LED indicator on the front that flashes green when it’s ready to go. Once the thing has heated up to your preferred temperature setting, just hold it up to your mouth and inhale. There’s two mouthpieces that come with the PAX — one that’s flush with the actual unit and another that’s actually raised from the thing. Both methods make you look like you’re playing either a recorder or a pan flute, but that’s part of the fun.

My first week with this thing was a giddy rollercoaster of learning my limits and getting way too stoned. At the risk of sounding like an Erowid trip report, the high from a vape is different from smoking a bowl or climbing atop your stepladder to rip that six-foot bong. It’s subtle. Believe me, you will still be high as shit, but you won’t feel like you’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. It’s completely and totally feasible to enjoy this thing and leave your house to be a functioning part of society.

Once you figure out what works for you, you’re golden. I also dipped into the wooly world of vape reviews on YouTube and found a vast trove of earnest men in sunglasses pontificating while blowing giant clouds of vapor out of their mouths. These dudes are nerdy as hell and it shows. Fuck buying a vape; ¬†just watch this dude talk about the PAX2 like he’s breaking down the IBU of that hop-heavy, American-style IPA he just bottled in his garage last week.

Get high on the beach like Lana Del Ray. Smoke as much weed as you can between dinner and a movie. Walk around your apartment smoking weed and cooking dinner. Slump on the couch and blow through a season of “Bob’s Burgers” with this shiny little thing next to your phone and the remote and bask in the glory that is getting high in the bougiest way possible. It’s not a life that I ever thought I’d be living, but now that I am, hoo boy, it’s a good one.

Item provided for review.