Grace Jones: “If The Fuck Don’t Feel Right, Don’t Fuck It”

I remember when one of the singers on the list of those who came after me first said that she wanted to work with me. Everyone around me is going: ‘You have to do it, it will be so good for you, it will introduce you to a whole new audience, you will make a lot of money’. No! It will be good for her; she will draw from everything I have built and add it to her brand, and I will get nothing back except for a little temporary attention. No one could believe that I said no, but I am okay on my own. I am okay not worrying about a new audience. If the fuck don’t feel right, don’t fuck it.

Mark your calendars because on September 24, Grace Jones is releasing her memoir, I’ll Never Write My Memoirs, and based on what I’ve read in the excerpt released by Time Out London, it is sure to be full of her admirable no fucks to give attitude and genuinely solid advice on being a bad ass woman who knows who she is and what she wants. I love that Jones doesn’t feel the need or desire to entertain the requests of artists who have clearly cribbed her style, despite their attempts to convince her that it’s to her benefit. “If the fuck don’t feel right, don’t fuck it” is pretty much my new mantra.

Damn, don’t hold back! Jones does bite her tongue when it comes to naming the specific pop star above, whom she calls Doris — but many are already saying that she’s obviously talking about Lady Gaga. So what does Jones think about this “Doris” person? Jones says she is “a baby in a closet full of other people’s clothes, a little girl playing dress-up, putting on shoes that don’t fit … She looks lost, like she is desperately trying to find the person she was when she started.” Mmmhmm, sure sounds like Gaga to me. And to Doris, she offers this advice:

Doris, I would say fame is all well and good if you want to take it to another level. If you have some greater purpose. Me, I am just a singer, on one sort of stage or another, who likes to have an audience, but not all the time. Listen to my advice; I have some experience. In a way, it is me being a teacher, which is what I wanted to be. I still feel I could go into teaching. What is teaching but passing on your knowledge to those who are at the beginning? Some people are born with that gift. With me, the teaching side morphed into the performing side. It’s in there. And these are my pupils – Gaga, Madonna, Annie Lennox, Katy Perry, Rihanna, Miley, Kanye West, FKA Twigs and… Doris.

Speaking of those singers, to Jones, they’re all “middle of the road.”

The problem with … the Nicki Minajes and Mileys is that they reach their goal very quickly. There is no long-term vision. They dress up as though they are challenging the status quo, but by now, wearing those clothes, pulling those faces, revealing those tattoos and breasts, singing to those fractured, spastic, melting beats — that is the status quo. You are not off the beaten track, pushing through the thorny undergrowth, finding treasure no one has come across before. You are in the middle of the road.

Yep, definitely gonna buy I’ll Never Write My Memoirs as soon as it comes out. All hail Grace Jones, and let us repeat, “If the fuck don’t feel right, don’t fuck it”! [Vulture]