Very Rude Salmon Expresses His Stance On The Iran Deal — All Over President Obama’s Shoes

President Obama is doing his rumspringa in Alaska this summer, and he’s having a fucking blast. Look at him here, dancing with adorable schoolchildren:

And here he is taking selfies with Bear Grylls:

Glad this was the only Bear I met in the park. -bo

A photo posted by The White House (@whitehouse) on

And, look at him all the way at the top, holding a salmon who is so overwhelmed to be in the presence of the leader of the free world that he jizzes all over his shoe. Naturally, because Obama is the chillest president ever, he handled it like a champ. What a sad, cold world it will be when his time is done.