Married GOP State Reps Deny Hot Makeout Sesh In Parked Car

Last month, Minnesota State Reps Tim Kelly (R-Red Wing) and Tara Mack (R-Apple Valley were issued a citation for making out in a car parked in Lebanon Hills Regional Park. They were both fined $260 for creating a “public nuisance,” defined in Minnesota as an act which is “injurious to health, or indecent or offensive to the senses, or an obstruction to free use of property, so as to interfere with the comfortable enjoyment of life or property.”

According to the park ranger who issued the citation, he came upon Reps. Kelly and Mack (who are both married to other people and vocal in their opposition to same-sex marriage and support of “family values”) making out in the car around 4:30 p.m. , and lo and behold, Mack’s pants were unzipped and pulled down.


Both Kelly and Mack deny that this incident took place, and claim that the park ranger is for some reason out to get them both and ruin their careers. Rep. Kelly chalked it up to “dirty tricks,” telling the Red Wing Republican Eagle “It just seems very convenient it’s released now.”

Kelly has issued a statement recounting his version of events:

“I was driving down to Red Wing through Eagan last Tuesday and met Rep. Mack to pick up some documents regarding South Country Health Alliance. When we met, a park ranger approached my vehicle and told me I was double-parked. I disputed his characterization and got out of the car to take a picture. He became visibly agitated and returned to his own car. Approximately ten minutes later, he returned to my vehicle with a parking ticket citing a nuisance. When I asked what that meant, he responded ‘whatever I want it to mean.'”

However, Dakota County Sheriff Tim Leslie says that the park ranger who issued the citation has no complaints and is being considered for a commendation–he also says that the part-time civilian employee had no reason to lie or even know who Kelly and Mack were or that they were legislators of any kind.

I am gonna guess that the park ranger is probably not lying. I mean, what are the odds that this guy–or anyone, practically–is gonna pick a State Rep out of a lineup? Slim to none, at best!

At some point, hopefully, these people will figure out that it’s a poor idea to go around mouthing off about family values and how much they love traditional marriage when they’re off screwing around. Because it seems lately that this happens lately even more than toddlers murdering each other with the firearms left out by their responsible gun owner parents, and that’s saying a lot.