Fresh Out The Box: Justin Bieber’s Latest, The Weeknd’s Finest & Alessia Cara’s Cute Debut

Welcome to a semi-regular exploration of the “new release” tab on your music streaming platform of choice. This week, Justin Bieber’s ceaseless social media campaign comes to its rightful conclusion, the Weeknd blows the roof off the joint and Alessia Cara provides all the “introverts”, real and imagined, with an anthem that won’t make people angry. 

Justin Bieber Doesn’t Understand The Question

Picture this. You are a girl who is “lucky” — unlucky? — enough to find yourself in conversation with Justin Bieber. He is shirtless. His pants situation is hard to figure out. He is wearing his summer beanie. “What do you mean,” he sings, “when you nod your head yes, but you mean to say no?” You sigh. A steel drum tinkles in the background. A pan flute plays a plaintive song for summer’s untimely passing. “What do you mean?” he asks again. This conversation is over.

Alessia Cara Is Younger Than You And Much More Talented, Probably

Alessia Cara is a 17-year old girl from Toronto who actually just wants to stay at home and do her own thing on a Friday night. “Here” is an anthem for introverts everywhere, but it’s also just a solid piece of pleasant, syncopated pop music, perfectly applicable to anyone who’d rather pass on that shitty party. Her EP, Four Pink Walls, is more of the same delightful R&B tinged pop. Highly, highly recommended.

The Weeknd Blows The Roof Off This Motherfucker

If you have been in a car, a CVS, H&M after work or the waiting room of your dentist’s office, you have heard the Weeknd’s paean to cocaine, over a beat that sounds like something Michael Jackson would have snatched in his heyday. It is a great song. It is a wonderful song worth listening to over and over again. And now it is a song that lives on an album called Beauty Behind The Madness, which is a banger nearly from top to bottom. Ignore the song he does with Ed Sheeran towards the end and just let the rest wash over you. It’s gorgeous.

BONUS: Summertime Depressives, Beach House Is Here For You

Beach House’s new album is somehow more uplifting and less sleep inducing than their previous two releases, and their brand of sea-witch-dreamscape-soundtrack pop sounds just as good. Ignore the fact that this album is called Depression Cherry. Smoke a giant joint, lay flat on the floor and turn the volume up. Leave your phone in the other room, because who needs that shit – the next 44 minutes are yours.