Here’s A Solid Plan B: Quit Your Life And Join The Cat Circus

Hey hey, it’s the end of summer and Labor Day is around the corner and oh god, everything is going to be miserable soon because winter, as you and Jon Snow know it, is coming. Stave off the inevitable ennui of your pedestrian autumn and your dreary winter by giving up that office lyfe and hitching your wagon to Samantha Martin’s Acro-Cat Circus. Yes, it’s like your childhood dreams have finally come true. Here are the job requirements.

1. Animal care experience – Daily, weekly and monthly cat care duties – including but not limited to general and advanced cleaning and care/welfare of animals and their living environment.

2. Out-going personality, a keen sense of humor, the ability to roll with the punches, a flexible schedule, a high comfort level engaging with crowds of cat lovers, open to new experiences, lots of fun and craziness. We travel in a tour bus and share RV/hotel rooms.

3. Physically fit – able to lift and transport up to 50 lbs of show props and animal carriers from tour bus to stage and back.

4. Theater experience a plus – purr-form front and back of house duties, stage management, operate the light and sound, and help on stage with animals and prop placement.

5. Work with volunteers – wrangle and train volunteers who help with the shows.

This all checks out. According to the ad, you also get paid! And you get a per diem. But the real bonus here is that you get to spend your time wrangling characters like Fiji, who looks like a real kindred spirit.

FIJI I CAN'T

Because we share the same favorite things, I know that this is my calling. Onward to my new future.

[Craigslist]