Judge Denies Man Copyright For Basic Chicken Sandwich

Last Friday, A US Appeals Court ruled on Friday against Norberto Colón Lorenzana, who sought to copyright a chicken sandwich “recipe,” and who was also seeking “all the earnings produced by his creation,” which he estimated to be about $10 million dollars.

Lorenzano claimed that the sandwich, which consists of a fried chicken breast patty, lettuce, tomato, American cheese, and garlic mayonnaise on a bun, and which he calls a Pechu Sandwich, “is a creative work, of which he is the author.” The judge, shockingly, did not buy it. What with that just being a totally regular chicken sandwich and all.

I am, one might say, a connoisseur of chicken sandwiches. It is a subject on which I have many thoughts and opinions. For instance, I believe that the best chicken sandwich is a chicken pesto sandwich–with tomatoes, not roasted red peppers. And provolone. I still don’t understand where they went, and I would like them to come back. Really. There were a glorious few years there where every restaurant had both a chicken pesto sandwich AND spinach and artichoke dip, and both of those delicious things just disappeared into thin air and all we have left is blueberry ostrich salami or whatever. DISAPPROVE.  

But also I digress. Even if one were going to copyright a chicken sandwich, it would have to be a more complicated chicken sandwich than a chicken sandwich with lettuce, tomato, American cheese and garlic mayo. I mean, for the love of god, that seems like a mediocre chicken sandwich at best. At the very least, use provolone or Swiss. American cheese? Who besides children puts “American cheese” on anything, anyway? I expect better than American cheese and mayo from a dude with a name like Norberto Colón Lorenzana.

It is right and correct that this man was denied his chicken sandwich patent. If Lorenzana wants to patent a chicken sandwich, he should first come up with a better chicken sandwich. Duh.