Pro-Tip: Don’t Inject Your Dick With Viagra

Man, the things dudes will do for a long-lasting erection. Look, I’m not a “pro” at having a penis, but I am a “pro” at knowing when one is erect enough to do fun stuff with, and for a long enough length of time — and that point is well before it’s been injected with the Viagra-like drug TriMix. Over on the subreddit Today, I Fucked Up, a dude writes about what happened when he decided to inject his dick with TriMix in an effort to make his erection last longer than 1-1.5 hours, so that he could be a hit at the swingers parties he frequents. At first, the results were, heh, solid. But after successfully exhausting himself and his wife with his rock hard member, things took a turn for the disturbing:

I came…twice…and it only got HARDER. I started pouring cold water over it. Nothing. I took four Sudafed pills (as suggested online when you get an out-of-control erection). Nothing. I started exercising major muscle groups, doing endless sets of push-ups, pull-ups, squats, etc. (also recommended online, in order to divert the blood). Nothing.

Three hours in, it was starting to really hurt…and I was starting to panic.

Big Dick Swinger took himself to the emergency room, where doctors were forced to break out another needle:

…they got a butterfly needle and proceeded to extract a STUPENDOUS amount of blood out of my cock, as the doctors took turns squeezing my dick like a lemon.

I’ll go ahead and pause here momentarily, so you can finish dry-heaving. And then I will suggest that you click here for photographic evidence — NSFW obviously — of Big Dick Swinger’s swollen penis and the blood that had been drained from it. It’s okay, just click, you’ve read this far, might as well go on the full journey.

Yeah.

You would think that this experience would lead Big Dick Swinger to appreciate his boner’s natural endurance and swear off injecting it with TriMix ever again. And you would be wrong. In conclusion, he writes, “Needless to say, I’ll be doing this again, starting at a third of the first dosage.”

“Needless to say.” Alrighty, bro, good luck to you!

[Reddit]

[h/t @_Cooper]