OMG, It’s Jennifer Aniston’s Wedding Ring!!!

Stop what you are doing and marvel — MARVELLLL — at Jennifer Aniston’s wedding ring. Can you believe it?!?! Jennifer is finally married! After all this time! Her days as a sad, pathetic, lonely single person are OVER. We should all be rejoicing at this news. BECAUSE SHE IS MARRRRRRRRIEDDDDDDDDDDDD! Thank god!!!! I thought it was all over for her!

The above was my impression of the internet’s response to the debut of Jennifer Aniston’s wedding ring. [People]

Kelly Clarkon is pregnant with her second child! The singer announced her happy news on stage in Los Angeles, in the middle of singing her song “Piece by Piece,” which is about both her own dad and her husband/baby daddy, Brandon Blackstock. “I was not planning on announcing this, but … I’m totally pregnant. I’m having a really hard time,” she explained. “I’m gonna nail the shit out of this song.” Congrats! [Us Weekly]

We told you yesterday that Rosie O’Donnell’s 17-year-old daughter Chelsea O’Donnell had been found after going missing for a number of days — but it turns out she was holed up in the attic of a home owned by an alleged heroin addict she met online. Yikes. [People]

Earlier this morning, former President Jimmy Carter elaborated on his recently announced cancer diagnosis, saying that he has four small melanoma spots on his brain, in addition to the malignant tumor found on his liver. He’s scheduled to begin radiation treatment today. [Gawker]

Joseph Gordon Levitt, one of our faves, went off and had a secret baby with his wife, Tasha McCauley. The couple welcomed a son earlier this week. [Dlisted]

The Beyhive — and lots of others — are rightfully mad about a scene from the Julie Klausner/Billy Eichner show (on Hulu) “Difficult People,” in which Julie’s character jokes, “I can’t wait for Blue Ivy to be old enough for R. Kelly to piss on her.” Amy Poehler has specifically been in hot water because of her close involvement with the show. [Uproxx]

Raise your hand if your voting for candidate DEEZ NUTZ in the Presidential election!!! [Buzzfeed]