HOLY SHIT: Josh Duggar Had An Ashley Madison Account

What the actual fuck? I have no words. I am out of words. Apparently, Josh Dugger, repented child molester and “family values advocate” had himself a goddamned Ashley Madison account and was looking to fool around on his wife. You know, while he was out making a living promoting “traditional marriage.”

Gawker reports that a credit card listed in the data breach is listed as belonging to Joshua J. Duggar, and that the address attached to said card matches the address of his grandmother in Fayetteville, Virginia.

josh duggar ashley madison

Duggar spent a total of $986.76 on two different Ashley Madison accounts from February of 2013 until May of 2015. The second account had a credit card attached to his home in Oxon Hill, Maryland, and on that account he paid an extra $250 in addition to monthly fees in order to receive a “money back guarantee” if he didn’t have an affair within three months.

And what kind of affair was Duggar looking for? Well, here is what he was into!

“Conventional Sex,” Experimenting with Sex Toys,” One-Night Stands,” “Open to Experimentation,” “Gentleness,” “Good With Your Hands,” Sensual Massage,” “Extended Foreplay/Teasing,” “Bubble Bath for 2,” “Likes to Give Oral Sex,” “Likes to Receive Oral Sex,” “Someone I Can Teach,” “Someone Who Can Teach Me,” “Kissing,” “Cuddling & Hugging,” “Sharing Fantasies,” “Sex Talk.”

SO HOLY. So very, very holy. So fond of “family values.”

The profile also details what Josh sought in a sidepiece:

“A Professional/Well Groomed,” “Stylish/Classy,” “Casual Jeans/T-shirt Type,” “Muscular/Fit Body,” ”Petite Figure,” “Tall Height,” “Short Height,” “Long Hair,””Short Hair,” “Girl Next Door,” “Naughty Girl,” “Sense of Humor,” “Imagination,” “Creative and Adventurous,” “Relaxed and Easy Going,” “Aggressive/Take Charge Nature,” “Confidence,” “Discretion/Secrecy,” “A Good Listener,” “Good Personal Hygiene,” “Average Sex Drive,” “High Sex Drive,” “Dislikes Routine,” “Has a Secret Love Nest,” “Disease Free,” “Drug Free,” and “Natural Breasts.”

I wonder what Michelle and Jim Bob would say about Josh looking for a Naughty Girl who was into experimenting with sex toys!

And here is the raw data from Josh’s second profile, in case you are still reading and haven’t taken a break to go throw up all over yourself!

1176060,’2011-10-13 23:41:52’,0,’2012-12-07 00:07:22’,0,2,2,NULL,NULL,0,NULL,’josh_the_man’,NULL,NULL,NULL,NULL,’Fayetteville’,’72764’,4,36.179938,-94.145696,1,NULL,NULL,NULL,2,’1988-03-02’,’Looking for

you!’,1,86184,183,4,1,0,5,2,’|7|23|15|46|37|38|48|36|28|42|43|50|51|39|29|49|18|’,’’,’I\’m really open! You let me know what your fantasy is and we\’ll do it

together!’,’|30|31|32|37|38|40|41|42|43|44|45|4|18|48|49|6|10|52|11|53|14|9|17|12|16|55|56|60|’,

26941493,’2014-07-05 14:06:47’,0,’2014-07-08 11:15:20’,0,2,2,NULL,NULL,0,NULL,’Ready4thisDC’,NULL,NULL,NULL,NULL,’Alexandria’,’22314’,49,38.799917,-77.051663,1,NULL,NULL,NULL,2,’1988-02-03’,’Do you have a

spark?’,1,88452,183,4,1,0,4,2,’’,’’,’Let\’s just see where this goes! I\’m looking to have a steamy affair’,’’,’’,’I want to have a good time with someone who is passionate… and see where it

leads!’,’’,’’,’’,NULL,3,’hogs’

JOSH_THE_MAN

READY4THISDC

I gotta say. As much as I am horrified by the data breach? This is kind of excellent, and perhaps makes it all worth it. I can’t think of a more deserving asshole.

[Gawker]