Cat Not Dead

Meet Corduroy! He’s 26, and still alive, and because of that, the Guinness Book of World Records has deemed him the OLDEST LIVING CAT. Oh, the stories he could probably tell, if only he could speak!

I don’t know what else to say about this really, other than that he looks pretty good for being 26. What is his secret? We may never know! Which is unfortunate because I am always fond of those articles about people who are like, over 100, who always say that the secret to living long is doing a shot of whiskey and smoking a pack of Camels a day. I love those articles as they validate my life choices. Corduroy probably does not drink whiskey or smoke camels. He probably just hangs out and eats cat food and drinks water, because he is a cat. Maybe he’s really into scratching up the sofa, too. Perhaps that is his secret.

Also, although Corduroy is super old, he is not quite old enough to be the oldest cat ever. That honor goes to a cat named Crème Puff who lived until the ripe old age of 38.

I am pretty convinced that I was once the proud owner of the World’s Oldest Living Carnie Goldfish, Fluffy, who lived for like, five years or something. Which is crazy given that the goldfish you get at carnivals usually only live for about a week. I never got in touch with the Guinness people though, so I’ll never be sure.

[Guinness World Records]