Kim Kardashian Is NOT Using A Surrogate, Thank You Very Much

Humanity, as a whole, has no discernible amounts of chill when it comes to the bodies of women. That is the reason why Kim Kardashian felt it necessary to post a nude selfie of her pregnant body on Instagram to shut down any ridiculous chatter about whether or not she’s actually pregnant:

First they say I’m too skinny so I have to be faking it…Now they say I’m too big so I have to be faking it…SMH! Some days I’m photographed before I eat & look smaller, some days I’ve just eaten & I look bigger. It’s all a part of the process. I think you all know me well enough to know I would document the process if I got a surrogate. Everyone’s body is different, every pregnancy is very different! I’ve learned to love my body at every stage! I’m going to get even bigger & that’s beautiful too! I’m blessed to even be pregnant & even luckier to not have preeclampsia as far as I know, so I don’t have the swelling issue this time! They also say your body carries a boy different than a girl! Whatever the case may be I’m grateful to God for this miracle & no matter what rumors or comments you throw my way this time they truly don’t affect me! #NoFilter #NoPhotoShop #GoodLighting 😜

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

There she is! Pregnant! Pregnant like your friend from college who posts pictures of her “bump” on Instagram! Pregnant like your ex-boyfriend’s wife/girlfriend/paramour, whose happiness fills you with slowly-simmering rage! Pregnant. She’s fucking pregnant. And she looks great.