Couple From Last Week’s Viral “We’re Pregnant!” Video Announce Miscarriage
Last week, married YouTube vloggers Sam and Nia announced that they were pregnant with what some saw as a very odd approach — Sam took a sample of Nia’s pee without her knowledge, administered a pregnancy test, and then shared the positive result with his unknowing wife. Nia at first seemed convinced that her “prankster” husband was up to one of his tricks, but a second (consensual!) pregnancy test confirmed the first — they were expecting their third child:
Well, today brings a sad update to this already squicky story. In a new video (top), Sam and Nia announced that she has had a miscarriage. The video is, as you might expect, very sad, but it also reflects a not uncommon experience for many women and/or couples. According to the National Library of Medicine:
Around half of all fertilized eggs die and are lost (aborted) spontaneously, usually before the woman knows she is pregnant. Among women who know they are pregnant, the miscarriage rate is about 15-20%. Most miscarriages occur during the first 7 weeks of pregnancy.
Many couples choose to wait until the first trimester is over before announcing the news publicly – in the event of miscarriage, they can mourn privately instead of having to update everyone on the sad news. As a result, however, I think that many people are unaware of how common miscarriages actually are. A friend of mine had a miscarriage a few years ago, and I recall her telling me how surprised she was to learn that many of friends had also had miscarriages — it’s just not something that many people share publicly. I’m not judging, to be clear, but I do think it’s interesting that an experience shared by many people goes largely undiscussed, except in whispered, close circles.
I was not at all fond of how Sam and Nia announced their pregnancy, specifically the normalizing of Sam’s role in the “surprise” — Nia didn’t seem to mind that her husband felt he had a right to find out what was going on with her body before she did, but I definitely don’t think such behavior should be encouraged or validated. I also feel super squicked out by their latest status update, highlighting their pregnancy/miscarriage as a huge traffic driver:
Our tiny baby brought 10M views to her video & 100k new people into our lives. She turned our life around & brought us closer together.
— Sam&Nia (@SamAndNia) August 9, 2015
But with all that being said! I do hope that if Sam and Nia are as open about their lives as they purport to be, they use this as an opportunity to discuss just how common miscarriages are, so that other women perhaps feel less alone when facing the same thing.