The Mystery Of The Whole Foods Asparagus Water Has Been Solved (Sort Of?)

This past week, the internet was deeply confused, angry and bewildered by a picture of “Asparagus Water” selling for $5.99 at Whole Foods. The contents? Three stalks of asparagus. In water. Why? No one knew! Were people actually drinking it? Are we all just that out of the loop? Is this a Gwyneth Paltrow thing we don’t know about?

Somewhere in L.A., Whole Foods executives are laughing at all of us.

A photo posted by Marielle Wakim (@marielle.m.n.o.p) on

Well, the Hollywood Reporter did more than ponder the reason for its existence and exorbitant price! They went straight to the source itself and asked Whole Foods what this madness was about.

Their response?

“There’s been some miscommunication around this product. It was meant to be water with the essence of vegetables and/or mushrooms to be used as broth (similar to a bone broth), which are typically made over a long period of time soaking in water.”

“The product was made incorrectly and has since been removed from the one store, Brentwood, where it was carried,” the rep continues. “We would love your help clarifying that this product is not available and was removed from the Brentwood store as soon as this issue was brought to our attention.”

UM. Okay. I am still not sure why even water that has had three stalks of asparagus soaking in it for a long time would cost six bucks either. Broth is pretty inexpensive. That’s kind of broth’s whole thing.

And you have to wonder about the people who “made it wrong” and then thought “Hey! Whatevs! We will just sell this as “asparagus water” and people will probably be really into that and purchase it for six dollars, which seems like a reasonable price for such a thing.” Personally, I feel unsatisfied with this resolution.

[Hollywood Reporter]