Robert Downey Jr. Bathes In Money As World’s Highest Paid Actor

The camera pans across a room made of marble and glass, zooming in on Robert Downey, Jr. as he bathes in in a tub full of hot cash. He smiles, dimples swelling as he luxuriously lifts a handcrafted Bloody Mary to his slightly smirking lips.

This is how I imagine a typical morning is for the beloved “Iron Man” star Robert Downey Jr, who Forbes just deemed the World’s Highest Paid Actor for 2015.

At a whopping $80 million a year (are those even real numbers anymore?), this isn’t even Downey’s first year being crowned as Prince of Hollywood, as he’s received the title in both 2014 AND 2013! I’m beginning to suspect he went method as billionaire Tony Stark and is stuck in a tragic cycle of wealth due to his deep and artful commitment to his character.

Say what you will, it’s difficult to contend with a man whose range has seamlessly jumped from “Sherlock,” to steel-willed Tony Stark, and throughout the troubling streets of “A Scanner Darkly.”

Hopefully he enjoys his moneybaths and considers his privilege, as his female counterparts are still severely unfairly paid, with Sandra Bullock topping out in 2014 at 51 Million, a whole 30 million less. And she has an Oscar!

Cheers, to piles of money, superhero franchises, being a man, and Hollywood!