A Man Was Caught With 6 Gold Bars In His Rectum–And We Have Some Questions

This has really been a banner month for unusual things being stuck inside people’s rectums. First there was the fake story about the dude with 30 cow eyeballs stuck inside his rectum and now there is this real story about a man being held at Shahjalal International Airport after being found with six gold bars–$3.5 million worth–in his rectum.

Via Bangladesh News 24:

The 38-year old Rafiqul Islam returned from Dubai on Thursday. Officials stopped him while he was crossing the immigration following an instruction from Dhaka Customs House Commissioner Lutfor Rahman.

Rahman said the passenger of Flydubai airlines at one point of the grilling admitted that he had been carrying six gold bars.

“Police took him to Uttara Medical College Hospital where X-ray reports confirmed the presence of gold inside rectum.”

The doctors there suggested using glycerine suppositories to bring out the gold bars packed in plastic and black tape.

Bonkers!

Here, for posterity, is a picture of the gold bars that this man put up his ass.

gold-bar (1)

I’m pretty curious about all of this. I have some questions. Questions which perhaps only Rafiqul Islam can answer, but perhaps some that our readers may have some theories on as well.

1. How did they all even fit? The average rectum is only like, 4 inches long, so I would imagine that this dude had to have some kind of freakishly long rectum to be able to accommodate that.  I’m not sure it’s a great idea to google “how much stuff can fit in one person’s ass” but it seems like 6 gold bars is a lot.

2. How did he walk?? Gold is not exactly a light substance, and I would imagine that $3.5 million worth of it would be pretty heavy. According to Answers.com (which I don’t necessarily trust but whatever) $1 million in gold is about 55lbs. That means this dude was possibly carrying around 192.5 pounds of gold in his ass. Like, just walking around like that, carrying 200 extra pounds in his rectum. How strong do you and/or your rectum have to be to pull that off?

3. Did he have like, a training regimen of some kind? I would imagine so. I mean, I don’t think you could just stick 200 lbs of gold in someone’s ass and send them on their merry way. Were their exercises he was doing? Like a lot of leg lifts and ass kegels? Did he have to work up to getting the 6 gold bars in there? Was he at least previously really into anal? What kind of preparation must one do, exactly in order to get to the point where they can casually walk around with 200 lbs of gold in their ass?

I guess it’s “where there’s a will there’s a way” when it comes to money like that, but I’m still pretty certain that this guy must have the most impressive ass of all time.

[Bangladesh News 24]