Drake Vs. Meek Mill + Nicki = A Very Brief Explainer Of A Very Lame Beef

Drake and Meek Mill are two names that you have perhaps seen batted about your various social media timelines in the past week. Maybe you’ve seen a lot of people yelling about diss tracks and ghostwriting and softness. Maybe you don’t understand why or how two grown men could be so goddamn petty. Maybe you just want to be a part of the conversation and you don’t understand any of this shit and would love it if someone just sat you down and told you what the hell was going on. We’d tell you not to pay attention, to turn your mind and energy to something other than the internet squabblings of two grown men. But, as of last night, it seems there is no end in sight for this half-hearted excuse for a beef.

We are here to enable to you be a part of the cultural conversation. Join us.

Who? Literally, who is Meek Mill?

Meek Mill is a rapper from Philly who’s currently on Rick Ross’s Maybach Music imprint. Here’s his song, “Amen.” It’s a solid bop, and it features Drake — a key to this intriguing puzzle.

Drake?

He’s a rapper. He’s swole. He used to be on “Degrassi.” Madonna kissed him at Coachella this one time. You know who Drake is, come on, stop fucking around.

Yes, I admit, I know who these people are. But what the hell does Nicki Minaj have to do with any of this?

Nicki and Drake are on Lil Wayne’s Young Money label, and they’ve collaborated together in the past, because they are both excellent artists who are at the peak of their respective games.

It also seems clear that Drake maybe has a thing for Nicki.

In her video for “Anaconda,” Nicki gives Drake a very sexy lap dance.

#AnacondaVidWednesdayOnVevo

A photo posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on

Here is Nicki setting the record straight.

Pay close attention to Drake’s verse. Pay close attention to the first thing that comes out of Nicki’s mouth. She’s clearing the air. Drake and Nicki have never officially dated, at least as far as the general public knows, and if you believe Nicki — and I do — she and Drake haven’t fucked either. So this is some unrequited love shit that Drake needs to work through.

That still doesn’t clear it up.

Starting in December of last year, rumors began flying that Meek and Nicki were dating. This is shortly after she broke up with her ex, Safaree Samuels, who is also involved in this mess, flapping his jaw about Nicki’s lyrical prowess. We do not need to give Safaree the time of day here, so I’ll just point you towards this and you can decide if you want to engage. But by March of this year, it was clear that Meek and Nicki were definitely, 100 percent dating. He gave her a big shiny ring, and she packed him up in her suitcase and took him on tour! She even let him open for her. Adorable.

All set now. So what’s the problem?

Meek Mill has his panties in a twist because Drake didn’t tweet about his latest album, which features a song with Drake. Really. Meek ALSO accused Drake of not writing his own shit. This, of course, was happening at the same time as Nicki was dealing with her own shit with Taylor Swift, in a separate part of Twitter. It was, as the kids say, a lot. 

Oh, okay. Cute. How’d Drake take this?

He sat back, thought about it and then released this little ditty, a solid heater of a diss track called “Charged Up.” It is cool, calm and collected Drake. He’s charged up, but not yelling, just quietly informing Meek that he snatched his ass and plans on handing it back to him in a neatly wrapped package.

Meek called the response “baby lotion soft,” a sentiment he echoed when he opened for his girlfriend, Nicki, in Brooklyn last Sunday. Because Drake has absolutely no chill, he quietly loaded up his Soundcloud page with another number. It’s called “Back to Back.” It is, in short, wonderful.

“Is that a world tour or your girl’s tour?” I mean. Please also note the album art, which, as Pitchfork points out, is a study in shade: “The song was accompanied by a photo of Toronto Blue Jay Joe Carter’s series-winning home run in the 1993 World Series. (Meek Mill is from Philly, and the Toronto Blue Jays beat Philadelphia Phillies in that series.)”

Uh. Yikes. Is Meek just going to sit there and take this?

Funny you should ask. After sitting on his hands and trying to figure out what the fuck to do about all of this, he finally shot back last night with this limp handshake of a diss track, “Wanna Know”, which features a guest verse from Drake’s alleged ghostwriter, Quentin Miller.

It is, for the most part, not that good, considering the fact that he has had literally one whole week to sit on this, think about it and write something that would meet and match the quality of Drake’s two very solid tracks. What IS the best/worst/best-again part about this is the throwaway line at the end. “You let Tip homie piss on you in a movie theater n****, we ain’t forget…” According to Genius’s annotation, this refers to a time when one of T.I’s friends got drunk, peed in the aisle of a movie theater and Drake happened to be in the way.

This is a bunch of grown men being petty, right?

Yes.

What does Drake think now?

Shortly after “Wanna Know” premiered on Funk Flex’s show, Drake posted this pic to Instagram.

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

That, for the moment, is that! No further updates have been issued from either camp.