Let’s Chat About This “Gritty,” “Dystopic” Remake Of “Little Women”

It was announced yesterday that the CW is considering a “gritty” remake of beloved childhood staple “Little Women.” It’ll be executive produced by an “NCIS” actor and will, apparently, feature the March sisters as you’ve never seen them before — “band[ing] together in order to survive the dystopic streets of Philadelphia.” Excuse me?

Apparently, Little Women is too soft, lighthearted, and gentle for the current television audience, who needs “grit” and “dystopic streets” to truly connect with the material. So, instead of tapping into the market of Women Who Love A Costume Drama and pooping out a mini-series on the BBC or something, they’ve decided to “grit” up something that was already kinda fucked up to begin with.

If you think about it, “Little Women” is already kind of dark? Jo sells her hair. Beth dies. Jo stamps her feet a lot. Beth dies. Also, there’s the Civil War, there’s scarlet fever everywhere and Father comes back from battle, somehow irrevocably changed. Once again, Beth dies.  A lot of real life shit happens in the actual book. How will they transfer the genteel grit of the March sisters to the hard streets of a burned-out, post-apocalyptic Philadelphia? Will Jo be a vigilante Terminator-esque cyborg who is also an investigative journalist? Will Amy be a Cylon? Is Marmee still around? When Beth dies, does she automatically reboot and live forever? Are there popovers after the apocalypse? What of the blancmange?!

This is, on some level, sacrilege. But, maybe it’ll be fine? Change is good. Change is fun. And, watching your childhood memories crumble in a blaze of bad CGI and rubble while four teen actresses run around looking confused and stopping every few blocks to stage another scene from “Pilgrim’s Progress” will be interesting, to say to the least.