Tom Cruise’s Nekkid Scientology Shroud Features Massive Dick And Balls

  • To celebrate Tom Cruise’s 25th anniversary as a Scientologist, the COS commissioned a GIANT NAKED SHROUD of him featuring an excessively huge package, as well as some “commemorative coins” to be featured in a “pop-up Scientology Church” in Clearwater, Florida. [E! Online]
Screen Shot 2015-07-29 at 5.21.06 PM
  • David Faustino, aka “Bud Bundy” wants to reboot “Married…With Children.” Which we feel like we’d be good with depending on how much Christina Applegate and Katy Sagal are involved.  [CNN]
  • Speaking of which! Christina Applegate says she regrets turning down the lead role in “Legally Blonde.” [EW]
  • Titus Burgess, Tina Fey and Jane Krakowski lipsynced to Beyoncé’s “Flawless” and it was, well, pretty flawless. []
  • A Grumpy Puppy is seeking to dethrone Grumpy Cat–is there room in our hearts for both? [GQ]
  • Hermés has responded to Jane Birkin’s request to take her name off a Birkin Bag made of crocodile leather. [Vogue]
  • Check out the first photos of Melissa McCarthy’s new fashion line [Buzzfeed]
  • The Olsen Twins are still considering maybe possibly doing “Fuller House.” [The Superficial]
  • Michelle Williams is dating Jonathan Safran-Foer [US Weekly]
  • Madonna is getting back to her gloriously blasphemous roots–her Rebel Heart tour will feature “pole dancing nuns.” [People]