People Horrified By The Death Of Cecil The Lion Are Leaving Scathing Yelp Reviews For Hunter’s Dental Practice

Yesterday, I wrote about the death of Cecil, Zimbabwe’s most famous lion, who was killed earlier this month after being lured off protected land and then shot with a bow and arrow by a Minnesota dentist and big game hunting enthusiast named Walter Palmer. Cecil was gravely injured but not killed by the shot, and Palmer spent two days tracking the magnificent beast, before finishing him off with a gun, skinning him and decapitating his head to bring home as a trophy. And people are MAD ABOUT IT. Jimmy Kimmel cried! I mean, I’m upset by it too, don’t get me wrong – I can’t even look at the photo of Cecil’s dead body, because I see my dog’s Lucca’s face in every animal’s face and I can’t handle it. But it turns out that killing a moderately famous lion is a crime that unites people of all sorts. (There is something to be said for the fact that many of the same people devastated by the death of a lion on another continent could not give two shits about the deaths of Black human beings here at home, but I digress.)

It’s been 24+ hours since Palmer’s name was revealed as Cecil’s killer, and while a horrified public waits to find out if and how Palmer will be punished, they have been getting a little vengeance of their own. Hundreds and hundreds of people have descended on the Yelp pages for both Palmer and his dental practice, River Bluff Dentistry, posting rage-filled “reviews,” saying that frequenting his practice puts money in the pocket of a murder who will use it to kill all the animals. Some have added a little much-needed humor to the mix (while still calling for Palmer’s own brutal death, natch). Here, a sampling:

Brought my lion here for dentistry and was horrified by the result.

All kidding aside, I hope you die painfully.

He is an awesome dentist and the interior design is really something…there are heads of previous girlfriends on the wall. He was telling me about how he tracked them and that it was “all good” because he didn’t know it was illegal, and he used a bow and arrow like a real man.

My favorite is the stuffed puppy from the dog pound in the lobby.

I’m so pleased that this guys name is FOREVER linked to being a poacher. That’s one step above child molester.

I live in the neighborhood and heard of this mighty white hunter’s dental service for cleaning lion teeth.  Alas, there was already a big line of stuffed animals waiting at his locked door to get their teeth cleaned, so I think his calendar will be filled up and he won’t be taking any new customers any time soon.

I will be taking my lion elsewhere.

I can’t even imagine your murderous hands touching my mouth……yuck yuck yuck I HATE YOU

I’ll admit, a trip to the dentist has never been my favorite, but I can’t imagine a more horrific experience than waking up to realize a penny of my hard-earned money had gone to assist this man in his heartless pursuit of micropenile compensation.

Also what’s up with the wrinkly phallus head… kinda reminds me of a earthworm with granny glasses.

Anywhoo. .. I didn’t want teeth cleaned with a ratchet spearhead so I left. If I could imagine what smegma would smell like… it would be this guy’s breath.

What a waste of skin and oxygen.

Seriously, what would the general public do without Yelp as a platform for their anguish and rage? But seriously, I wouldn’t want this dude anywhere near my mouth after seeing what he did to Cecil on one of his days off.