Dead Guy Who Owned 1200 Guns Was Alien-Human Hybrid, Say Friends

While we may have to wait until January for the “X-Files” miniseries — which we now know will include the Lone Gunman, even though they’re supposed to be dead (I am OK with this because of my longstanding crush on John Fitzgerald Byers) — it looks like we’ve got a case for Mulder and Scully right now in Los Angeles.

The case, as it stands, involves a missing woman, the abandoned dead body of a man who owned over $5 million dollars worth of firearms, and the fact that the missing woman and the dude’s fiancée believe that he was an alien-human hybrid who was here to save the world, and also a secret government agent with a higher authority than the CIA.

Jeffery Lash’s body was found in an SUV parked on Palisades drive on July 17th. Police were alerted to the body by his fiancée Catherine Nebron. According to Nebron, Lash had collapsed two weeks earlier, and although she and her employee Dawn VadBunker tried to revive him, he died there.

Nebron claims that she didn’t report the death before because she thought that, due to his being an alien-human hybrid here to save the world, with more authority than the CIA, that either the aliens or the government would come by to collect his body.

VadBunker was last seen by her family on the day Lash’s body was discovered, and is believed to be somewhere in Oregon. She has not called her parents or her children, but sent a letter saying she was OK, and that she was there when “Bob” died, and that he “fought for his life.”

Somehow, it gets weirder from there! When police came to Lash’s home, they found over $5 million worth of firearms (approximately 1200 of them), $250,000 in cash, and vehicles designed to drive on desert terrain.

So, I think the only obvious conclusion here is that Lash was somehow involved with the Syndicate and was probably remotely killed somehow for fear that he would reveal some kind of evil plan for world domination. Either that or these people are bonkers. One of the two.