Get The Boner-Prone Man In Your Life Bloxers, Never Be Embarrassed Again

Is there a man in your life that spends most of his adult days plagued by fear that he’ll suddenly pop an unwanted, irrepressible boner? Someone who has trouble just going out to get a cup of coffee because the slightest of breezes will awaken the evil boner gods within, causing it to rear its mushroom cap head, screaming, “I’m here! Let me be free!”? If you’ve always wished that the men in your life could just keep it in their pants, soft and flaccid and slumbering like a vole against their thigh, then the Bloxers are going to revolutionize your entire life.

The Bloxers were created to solve the problem of unwanted boners. They are essentially boxers with a boxer brief leg on one side, like a weird Russian nesting doll of  an undergarment. According to the site:

Each pair is made using all cotton boxers and a hypoallergenic stretch fabric sewn along the inseam and at invervals around the leg. This fabric, dubbed the ‘deflector shield’, covers your crotch in its entirety and allows you to grow but at a controlled pace while deflecting you to your chosen side.

So, if you’re a man who is always tamping down an unwanted erection or a teen boy who has recently discovered that your body is intent on killing you via boner-related mortification — or a woman who knows a man just like this — head to their Indiegogo page and donate. Twenty-five percent of the proceeds will go to prostate cancer research, which is great.

Men, rejoice. No longer will your boners have to languish uptucked into the waistband of your boxers, hidden behind your messenger bag or your tote of farmers’ market groceries. Bloxers will allow you to wander freely, erect and proud. None of us will be the wiser. What a world.

[h/t Buzzfeed]

Image from the immensely talented and genius AnimatedText