“Minions” Tampons Are Just A Dream, But “Minions” Maxi Pads Are A Real-Life Nightmare

Earlier this week, I told you that the high mofos at Kotex Puerto Rico were so hyped up about the movie “Minions” that they dared to imagine a world in which “Minions”-themed tampons existed. Today, I am here to tell you that “Minions”-themed maxi pads actually do exist and you can buy them on Etsy for $8.95 each, if you’re the kind of creep who wants to bleed all over little yellow cartoon guys who wear overalls and goggles. Listen, I’m a proponent of reusable menstrual products — the DivaCup is my jam and I am dead serious that I would happily shove a “Magic Mike”-themed cup in my vag — but reusable maxi pads frankly weird me out, and none more so than THESE:


Again, let’s NOT. Please and thank you. [Buzzfeed]