Fox’s Keith Ablow: Men Can Punch Women In The Face Because We Let Girls Play Sports

In case you are not aware, Fox’s resident psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow is maybe the actual worst human alive. As far as I can tell, he has literally never said a single word that is not jaw-droppingly craptacular and absurdly sexist. Most of his issues in life seem to stem from the fact that women are allowed to do things that he would prefer they not be allowed to do. Often, these are sex things or work things, but this time he is upset about letting girls do sports things.

On Wednesday’s “Fox and Friends,” Ablow weighed in on the widely circulated video of football player DeAndre Johnson knocking into a woman at a bar, grabbing hold of her, and, when she tried to swat him off, punching her in the face.

“No you don’t hit girls. That’s a nice notion. I like using the world girls, I’m not going to stop. And I don’t much like it when, for instance when high school wrestlers have to forfeit a match if they don’t wrestle a girl on the other team. That’s ridiculous. Who would want to wrestle a girl?””

Now. While Dr. Ablow does not think it is nice to hit girls – and he will say girls, goddamnit, not “women” like he’s some kind of SJW or something — but that is because he is old fashioned. And being old fashioned is good, he says, because everything was great for everybody back in the 1950s in his mind.

However, Dr. Ablow maintains, if you’re going to go changing things around on him and letting girls play sports like wrestling and ice hockey, then you can’t tell men that they aren’t supposed to hit “girls.” Because if you want equality, ladies, if you want to be able to play sportsball, then you should obviously be fine with a football player punching you in the face. Obviously.

Now, call me crazy but I am going to say that you should never put your hands on anybody, period. Also, that you should be aware that if you are, you know, a football player, that you could cause a lot of damage to someone a lot smaller than you are if you hit them in the head.

But, Dr. Ablow insists, these are just the times we live in, and maybe football players wouldn’t have to smack women (I’m sorry, “girls”) in the head if only we allowed people to buy pink things for girl babies and blue things for boy babies.

“Was it so terrible when you bought the pink bear for the girl and the blue one for the boy? Was it awful? Or did we have an idea in mind culturally, that was actually working and someone ripped it apart. Listen, if you’re saying that it’s just fine to flip a girl onto her back in a wrestling match, and pin her to the ground and take some joy in that, well then I guess if you’re in a bar and she slaps you, you punch her in the face.”

Yes, it is very difficult now to purchase gendered toys for children. SO HARD. It’s like you can’t even find any toys anymore that reinforce gender roles, except for nearly all of them. How are men supposed to know not to hit girls if they don’t get a blue teddy bear when they’re born, riddle me that? Rigid gender roles were created for our safety, obviously!

I don’t have much more to say about this other than that Dr. Keith Ablow may be the actual worst human on earth.