Kotex Imagines That “Minions” Are Tampons

Sigh. Up until, like, yesterday, I managed to blissfully exist in a world where I didn’t really know what a minion was. I saw people tweeting about it. There was a piece over at The Awl that I did not click on, because it was about both minions AND memes, and I didn’t want to know about the former and am so over the latter. By going out of my way to not engage with minions, my ADHD brain, which tends to multitask on its own accord,  still managed to put together that “Minions” is a movie about yellow round things with eyes and goggles and overalls, that is presumably for kids, but also managed to capture the attention of adults. In particular, the adults who work at Kotex Puerto Rico, which posted this image of “Minions”-themed tampons in anticipation of the movie’s release.

Really? “Minions” — the creatures? the movie? I don’t know — is so wonderful that you’re daydreaming about shoving the little buggers in your cooch? “We’re ready for the movie!” the company’s post exclaimed. “And you, who are you bringing along to the premiere?” Well, I’m not going, but if I was, the answer would not be imaginary “Minions” tampons. I’m more of an imaginary “Magic Mike XXL”-themed menstrual cup kind of bleeder. [Metro UK]