Ooh Dang, Is Jon Hamm Single?

  • Hey ladiiiiiiesssss, Jon Hamm and his tremendously large cock-n-balls may be single! Sources say that Hammaconda (just made that up right now) and his girlfriend of 16 years, Jennifer Westfeldt, broke up because she wanted to have a kid and he didn’t. Gee, haven’t heard that one before. This bit of gossip comes from Star, and given that they are behind that stupidly wrong story about Tom Cruise leaving Scientology, I am disinclined to take their “sources” very seriously. [Star]
  • So, perhaps you’ve heard about, or are even currently experiencing (*prayer hands emoji*), California’s crazy awful drought. Shit is not good, y’all, and residents are having to follow strict rules in order to conserve water. But Tom Selleck ain’t havin’ that. Magnum PI, who lives in Thousand Oaks, was busted stealing water from a fire hydrant in another district more than a dozen times!In order to help you understand what a dick move this is, I need to quote my friend Wynter, who tweeted, “You can’t get more ratchet than this, Magnum. This is stone cold ratchetness on high. For shame.” When I kind of laughed at the tremendous asshole-ish-ness of it all, she replied, “GURL. He is WRONG FOR THIS! we have literally no water dude. there’s bathtub rings around every reservoir/lake this is fucked up. people think its all sunshine and rainbows, this is some hard fucking living right now, we’re DYING OUT HERE.” [KTLA]
  • This ~thinkpiece~ from a woman who never wears the same outfit twice frankly exhausted me. [Harper’s Bazaar]
  • One of Bill Cosby’s accusers is calling for a judge to unseal all of his 2005 deposition. [Reuters]
  • Matt McGorry, who plays “OITNB”‘s resident hunky guard turned deadbeat dad, is helping to “free the nipple,” but the real story here is why the fuck he’s wearing those horrid rimless glasses. [Vulture]

Hi. This is a photo of me from my bodybuilding years, circa 2010. And these are the nipples of @mileycyrus and @…

Posted by Matt McGorry on Wednesday, July 8, 2015

  • Here is a thoughtful long read from a woman who changed her name when she got married — and then immediately regretted it. [Buzzfeed]
  • An NYPD sergeant was suspended for tossing jizz on female co-worker. Suspended?! [Death and Taxes]
  • You know the character of Aunt May from the “Spider-man” comics/movies? She’s like a 100-year-old granny in every depiction of her ever. So it makes perfect sense that Marisa Tomei, who is definitely not a 100 and frankly has not aged a day since “My Cousin Vinny,” is maybe going to play her in that new reboot. [Dlisted]
  • Women of color aren’t usually given a ton of options when it comes to “nude” underwear — until now. Read about a lingerie line specifically for WOC that’s headed stateside. [The Cut]