It’s Time To Talk About Drake’s New Bod

It has recently come to my attention that Drake has become yoked as hell. He has transitioned from skinny, ropy Wheelchair Jimmy (his character on “Degrassi: The Next Generation,” for those of you not well-versed in Canadian television) to this glistening baby mountain of a man. I mean, this is not the Drake you know. This is not the Drake anyone knows, honestly. It’s a new Drake. A jacked Drake. His glory is a well-executed contemporary thirst trap. He is giving you beard. He is giving you a hint of #EggplantFriday. He is giving you, quite frankly, more than you can probably handle.

@ipushpounds early morning 🙏

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At first, Drake’s body evolution felt like it happend virtually overnight. In a matter of days, Drake went from a slightly squishy and lightly muscled dude to someone with pecs that surely, if requested, could move independently of the rest of his torso. You could lob a tube of chapstick at his abs and watch it ricochet off his body. He is swole. But how? Was it always this way and we just never noticed? I decided to investigate.

First, let us remember where he began. This is the bottom he metaphorically started from.

DRAKEBOD THE BOTTOM

Here is Aubrey, young, thin, teenaged. There is no hint of the swole that lies beneath. For years it developed, simmering below the surface. This is a glimpse of what was to come.

Tour workouts with @ovojonnyroxx. Always a good feeling to see progress

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Mmmm, okay. We see what’s happening here. The desire to go from middlingly attractive #saddrake to his latest incarnation was birthed here. His transformation begins from this point on.

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Arms: Looking good. Torso: Still slacking. If this were the Aubrey of July 2015, that jersey would’ve ripped the minute he tried to pull it over his meaty shoulders.

@theoskudra

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Those arms are nearing beefcake, but the torso still lacks. If you squint, zoom in and really stare, you can see the hint of the 18-pack that he’s rocking now.

Here we are, in 2015. Madonna is stealing his soul through her mouth, but she can’t snatch the fact that his arms and all of dat bod that lurks underneath are starting to get plump.

@ovojonnyroxx Tank got me working at the Palace!!!!! Push Pounds

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While you were enjoying the last few weeks of late spring, Drake was getting jacked as fuck and making his lifting-face in a mirror. Look at those workout boxer-briefs. Mm.

Pree show

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Here is a “pree show” to the newly tight and toned and taut and shiny carapace that Drake now inhabits.

Gym. Eat. Headline Wireless. Get Fry. 🙏 Today will be a good day.

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Oh. Okay. I see how it’s gonna be.

@ipushpounds early morning 🙏

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This is the new Drake. This Drake will out bench your boyfriend while looking you deep in the eyes and asking about your day. This Drake will open pickle jars and doors and whatever else it is you think you might need. This Drake is allergic to shirts. This Drake is only wearing sweatpants from here on out. This Drake knows what you like, how you like it, and will give it to you — but only after he completes his reps. This Drake is swole to the point of no return. This is Phase 2. His body is ready … and so is mine.