11-Year-Old Hero Sends Devastating Breakup Text To Her Shitty Boyfriend Joey

Here is something that we desperately hope is real: an 11-year-old girl swiftly dumped her garbage boyfriend Joey after catching him at the park with another girl in the best series of breakup texts every composed by anyone, much less an 11-year-old. Kids these days!

Mandi Nickens, the older sister of this future CEO, posted pictures of the texts on Twitter last night.

Despite the Starbucks she bought him, their love is not true or real. The sickest, burn, however, was delivered here:

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May we all learn from this child. May we all quake in fear and mutual respect in her path. Ding ding ding. Is that the elevator? Or is it the sound of a rising sixth-grader’s ego, being crushed in the light of a late summer’s eve?