Bristol Palin Says “Giddy A$$holes” Misinterpreted Her Depressing As Hell Pregnancy Announcement

I made a mistake, but it’s not the mistake all these giddy a$$holes have loved to assume.

This pregnancy was actually planned.

Everyone knows I wanted more kids, to have a bigger family.  Believing I was heading that way, I got ahead of myself. Things didn’t go as planned, but life keeps going. Life moves on.

But I do not regret this baby. This baby is not a disappointment, and I cannot wait to be a mom times two. Tripp is going to make the best big brother!!

Umm, OK, Bristol Palin, whatever you say. After posting what had to be the most morose, joy-less pregnancy announcement of all time last week, Bristol Palin has posted an irate followup contradicting the way the media, including The Frisky, interpreted her words. To remind you, Bristol originally wrote, “I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my chin up on this one. I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my close friends, and to many of you.” So what exactly is the disappointment, if not the now apparently “planned” pregnancy? It’s unclear, though I suppose Bristol could be referring to the fact that she and her maybe baby daddy, ex-fiance Dakota Meyer, have broken up. Or maybe he’s not the baby daddy and the disappointing part of this planned pregnancy is that some other dude’s sperm fertilized her egg instead?

Like I said, UNCLEAR, but Bristol had something else she wanted to clear up as well: she has never been paid as an abstinence spokesperson for The Candies Foundation. No, Bristol claims the PSAs she made for Candies were just about her experience with being a teen mom, but Candies frames their messaging around the “devastating consequences” of teen parenthood and encourages teens to “delay pregnancy,” so, you know, potayto-potahto. Anyway, Bristol goes on to write that the only thing she’s really outspoken about is being pro-life.

When I realized I was pregnant, I knew I would be completely crucified. But I never even thought of aborting this child, NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE. (Sorry to the ghouls at Gawker, who said this baby is an argument FOR abortion. Not happening.)

I am pregnant. This is not the ideal situation, but life is important even if it’s not in the most absolute ideal circumstance. This is more confirmation on what I’ve always stood for. I’ve always been pro-life and I am standing for life now.

Deal with it.

Bristol, girl, the only reason the media is even writing about your knocked up ass is because you wrote a miserable-sounding pregnancy announcement on a public website. Frankly, I hope you’re as happy about being pregnant as you’re now claiming, as I get no satisfaction out of any woman remaining pregnant when it is not what she actually wants — being pro-choice means being pro-any choice a pregnant woman decides to make, whether it’s having an abortion, giving the baby up for adoption, or raising the child themselves.