Please Do Not Throw A “Bro-Dal Shower”

Are you a man who is getting married, but feels sad that your soon-to-be-wife gets to go to like, three different parties in which people shower her with gifts and praise while you get one scuzzy party in Atlantic City with a stripper that your brother’s friend found, but you really didn’t want? Do you want the opportunity to engage in fussy sandwiches and a big cake and just have some quality time with your bros, man? Well, hold onto your dicks, because the bro-dal shower is here.
What’s a bro-dal shower? Why is a bro-dal shower? Take it away, Buzzfeed Life:
The editors at BuzzFeed Life recently threw wedding showers for two of our male co-workers. Because we love them. And because wedding traditions deserve to be fucked with We called these parties for the grooms-to-be “bro-dal showers.”
I’m all for sticking it to the man. The idea of fucking with the notions of wedding traditions is great in concept. But, throwing a party that looks fussier than any bridal shower I’ve ever been to seems like an ineffectual way of thumbing your nose at the traditions swirling around weddings in general. Just because you only invite men to your party and eat manly things like bratwurst and whiskey shots with moonshine cherries doesn’t mean that you’re somehow fucking with wedding tradition. All you’re doing is creating a new one. Why?
All this “bro-dal” shower is a party with your man friends, featuring food that wouldn’t be out of place at a bridal shower or a regular party. There is a cake that frankly, looks better than any of the dessert options served at any bridal shower I’ve attended. There is something strange about this whole thing. It’s fine to want to celebrate your impending nuptials as much as you can, even though something about this whole thing smells a little men’s rights-y. I’m not going to deny anyone the right to have one of these events, and as a woman, I will be excluded from them if they do exist — instead relegated to the bridal shower, an event full of puff pastry and pastels and toilet paper wedding dresses. I would honestly prefer the bro-dal shower, but weddings are a time when, no matter how progressive the happy couple is, traditional gender roles tend to rear their ugly heads.
If you’re the kind of man that’s is so fucking excited that he’s getting married that he MUST drag his best dudes into a room where you guys can eat cake and apply temporary tattoos to one another as if you were nine years old, then do not let me stand in your way. I’m happy that you’re happy to be getting married. But there’s no need to create more spectacle and more fuss, all in the name of displacing tradition. It’s not helping your case! It’s reinforcing the same things you’re trying to disprove, while also costing your unwitting guests, friends and relatives more money. Your guests want to celebrate your love once — at your wedding. They do not want to celebrate it in incremental celebrations, dropping money and time along the way. Let us come to your wedding and really go all out. Dragging out the celebration over a week isn’t necessary.
Creating a new tradition because you’re purporting to buck the tradition that excludes you feels ridiculous, and, sadly, that’s what a bro-dal shower is.