Mom Outraged By Fondant Teddy Bear Labia On Child’s Cake

Today in “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”: Sharon Green, a very holy mother in the UK, is very upset over a teddy bear on her daughter’s christening cake. Why, you ask? Because it has a crease on it that she believes looks like genitalia. Which, um, I guess if you squint?

Teddy cake 4

I don’t know. I don’t think I’d look at a teddy bear and be like “Hey! I can see that teddy bear’s genitalia!”, but that’s just me. I have never been much of a Freudian.

The owners of Occasion Cakes say that they have made the teddy bears – both male and female – this way forever, and that Ms. Green is the first to complain. The crease, they say, is supposed to be a seam where the bear is sewn up.

Anyway, Ms. Green says that the cake pretty much ruined her daughter’s christening, and that even though the company gave them some flowers to cover up, the guests kept lifting up the flowers and laughing maniacally at the sexy nekkid teddies.

She says that no one ate the cake so that she could return it after, and that they all ate strawberry gateau and profiteroles instead. In which case I have to wonder why she brought the offending cake to the christening in the first place. I mean, really, she probably could have just returned it when she was asking for those modesty flowers, right? She also could have just removed the offending teddy bears herself and gone ahead and served the cake. It’s cake! Who even cares what’s on it as long as it’s delicious?

[Bolton News]

[h/t Christian Nightmares]