Same-Sex Marriage Will Lead To Setting Christians On Fire, Says Batshit Pastor
Kevin Swanson, a right-wing pastor and talk radio show host, went on a tirade last week about same-sex marriage–which, sure, not that surprising given that that it’s pretty much his job description to do so.
However, Swanson came up with quite the argument this time, after feeling deeply upset by another pastor, Tony Campolo suggested welcoming gay people, including married couples, into the church. This is a terrible idea, because Swanson insists is pretty sure that same-sex marriage is going to lead to Christians being all kinds of persecuted, and probably even murdered. Why? Because Nero. Because gay marriage was Nero’s idea, and Nero liked burning Christians, so logic.
Via Right Wing Watch:
Insisting that gay marriage is the brainchild of Nero, the 1st Century Roman emperor, Swanson said that “Nero is never content to just do his homo thing, he’s going to burn Christians. Homosexuality is going to be in the closet or Christians will be in the fire…. Nero is out of the closet and Nero is hell-bent to burn Christians and endorse homosexual marriage.”
“This is a dividing line for the good and the evil,” Swanson continued, claiming that the gay rights movement is part of the “Antichrist” system revealed in the Book of Revelation.
“This is the very essence of the most evil forces that have ever existed in the history of the world as recorded in Revelation 17,” Swanson said. “So please understand that Nero is never content just to do his homo thing, he’s got to torch Christians in his gardens.”
Um, I don’t know about you, but I still haven’t gotten around to doing my laundry this week. Even if I really wanted to, I don’t think I could get it together to literally burn anyone alive. Besides, the smell would be terrible.
Also, I’m pretty sure that no one is saying “Let’s have same-sex marriage, because we love Nero so much!” That is not a thing. No one is sitting around thinking “YES. Soon as we get this gay marriage thing underway, let’s get on that torching thing. Because setting people on fire is a thing we enjoy doing, what with us all being murderous psychopaths and whatnot.”
I’m honestly less annoyed that this dude thinks we’re going to set him on fire than I am by the idea that he thinks anyone has time for that. It’s an imposition, is what it is. I mean, really– I faint at the sight of blood and I don’t even like guns–who am I gonna be martyring?
I mean, most, if not all, lefties are anti-war and anti-death penalty. We’re not a violent people–thus the whole peacenik thing. Not to mention that we’ve got quite a few vegetarians and vegans. For the most part, even most atheists–myself included–don’t really care what Christians do or believe in so long as they’re not bothering anyone else.
I just don’t want this dude to set his expectations too high and then be disappointed when same-sex marriage passes and then no one even cares enough about him to burn him alive.