“Orange Is The New Black” Is Imminent, So Here’s What Happened In Season 2

Here is your latest trailer for “Orange Is The New Black” which returns to Netflix tomorrow — fantastic news for people who love drama, Laverne Cox and throwing popcorn at the screen whenever Alex Vause shows up. Here’s our TL;DR of what went down: Piper schemed a way to get Alex back into prison, which is a dick move, but good for plot. Vee is hopefully not around anymore, at all! Hopefully we won’t see Larry again, ever!

You probably watched the second season of this show in a haze over two days and never thought about it again. That means none of these words are resonating. Luckily, we got your back. Here is a rundown of what happened in season two to get you ready for the third season, which, according to this featurette, below is gonna be a doozy.

You learned an awful lot about all the other women, which was a relief.

The second season took some of time off from staring into the expanse of Taylor Schilling’s hapless face to focus on each character’s backstory, which was refrehing and wonderful and nice to know that they weren’t just serving as background furniture that could also say lines every now and then. What did we learn? So many things! Taste and Vee had some bad blood between them, because Vee had her brother killed and she’s also an evil monster who gamed every single person that she ran with in Litchfield. Poesy had a German girlfriend that she was separated from. And, just because it wouldn’t be “Orange Is The New Black” without learning more about Piper you fid out how she and Alex met. It’s not that exciting. They met at a bar and Piper, loving danger and the ~unknown~, decided to partake in some light drug running. Now she’s in prison.

Everyone’s favorite Russian lady had her position threatened.

When Vee came to Litchfield and stepped on Red’s territory as the HBIC, it kicked off a season-long battle between two warring factions. Vee is legitimately scary. Her tactics to gain control of her band of supporters are manipulative, but at the end, everyone figures out that they’re being played. Red, on the other hand, has a group of ladies of her own, and control over the greenhouse, which allows her to smuggle things in from the outside. It is through this drainpipe in the greenhouse that Vee escapes, runs for freedom, and gets run over by Rosa — bald lady, dying of cancer — who’s on her own “Born To Run” journey.

Larry proved that he is a disgusto-face, and good riddance.

Larry! Worst disgraced husband. So, he and Pipette broke up, yet he continued to slink around the sidelines of the second season, sticking his dick in places it doesn’t belong — namely in Piper’s best friend, Holly — and generally being shitty. Holly left her hubs for Larry’s sad sack, and they told Piper, who most likely added it to the running list of terrible things that have happened to her that are somehow worse because she’s in prison.

Daya’s going to have a baby. It’s Bennett’s baby. No.

So, Daya’s pregnant and she can’t do much about it, but she doesn’t want Bennett to lose his job. So, in a stroke of “genius”, she feigns interest in Pornstache, has sex with him and eventually gets him fired. This is great news because Pornstache is the pits, but seriously, Bennett is not that much better! Shit’s really gonna hit the fan now, because at the end of the second season, Bennett told Caputo that he’s the one that got Daya pregnant, and Caputo swiftly told him to keep his mouth shut. This should be fun.

Alex fucked over Piper, but Piper got her back good.

These two are that couple that you know really, really need to just end it once and for all, but they can’t seem to shake each other. Their relationship is cool to watch from afar, because they’re such a hot mess, but if you get close, you will somehow find yourself sucked into their vortex.

They are the very definition of a toxic relationship, comprised of two insufferable characters, and yet! Here’s why you’ll see Alex back in prison: She double-crossed Piper, telling the truth at the trial of a former boss instead of lying like she said she would. Her testimony is enough to further incriminate Piper and send her up the river for longer, but she gets early release Cool.

Alex spends most of the second season cowering in fear in an apartment somewhere, terrified that their old boss is going to find her, and she makes the mistake of telling Piper that she’s planning on skipping town — a clear violation of her probation. All it takes is for Polly, Piper’s former-bestie, to tell Alex’s probation officer that she’s on her way out, and boom — back in prison she goes.