Christian Couple Will Totally Divorce If Gay Marriage Becomes Legal

A patently ridiculous Australian couple has vowed to divorce should the country legalize same-sex marriage, which I imagine they perceive as a threat of some kind. Nick Jensen and his wife Sarah have been married for ten years, and are pretty sure that will no longer mean anything if gay people are allowed to get married too.

Via Sydney Morning Herald:

“My wife and I, as a matter of conscience, refuse to recognise the government’s regulation of marriage if its definition includes the solemnisation of same sex couples,” said Mr Jensen, who is director of the Lachlan Macquarie Institute, which partners with the Australian Christian Lobbyto offer scholarships designed to develop a Christian worldview and foster leaders in government policy.

Mr Jensen told Fairfax Media that he and his wife entered into their marriage “as a fundamental order of creation, part of God’s intimate story for human history, man and woman, for the sake of children, faithful and for life”.

“And so, if later on in the year the state does go ahead and changes the definition of marriage and changes the terms of that contract then we can no longer partake in that new definition unfortunately,” he said.

Legalising same-sex marriage would undermine “our most sacred institution, and have serious consequences for children who would grow up without a mother or father,” Mr Jensen said.

Now, first off, before I clutch my pearls in abject fear of two people I don’t even know getting a divorce that could not possibly effect me in any way whatsoever, I have a question. Is that part about marriage “as a fundamental order of creation, part of God’s intimate story for human history, man and woman, for the sake of children, faithful and for life” actually in the marriage contract they signed? Because I have a feeling it is not.

I mean, I googled it, and all I could come up with was this guy. Sure, he may have interpreted it that way, but I’m not quite sure it was actually in there. If that’s a thing people can do, I’m gonna start saying that my contract with The Frisky deems me ruler of the known universe. You know, if we can just make shit up now.

If Jensen and his wife want to get divorced if gay marriage becomes legal in Australia, more power to them. I’d never tell anyone to do with their matrimonial life, so long as they weren’t like, trying to have a child bride or anything, or otherwise forcing someone into marriage. I mean, Australia certainly shouldn’t deprive people of rights just because Nick and Sarah Jensen threaten divorce. I’m sure their marriage is nice and all, but what they choose to do with it is up to them.

I bet their faces will be super pissed about the loss of their noses.

[Sydney Morning Herald]