Oh, Thank God, Barbie Can Finally Wear Flats Now

Barbie has been around since 1959, wasp-waisted and pert, teetering on permanently pointed, rubbery toes. Her feet have been her handicap, forced by nature and her creator to wear only heels or walk around on her tippy-toes. But soon, she will experience the freedom to wear whatever shoe she sees fit and walk on flat ground. Mattel announced that Barbie’s new Fashionista line will soon be able to experience the sweet relief of taking your goddamn heels off after a long day at work, because she will now have articulated ankles. Barbie! Congrats. You’re getting so very close to becoming an accurate representation of womanhood for girls all over the world.

Not only will she be able to save her feet from the rigors of high heels, she’ll also finally come in a flavor other than vanilla. According to Mattel, the dolls will come in eight skin tones, 23 hair colors, 22 hair styles and 13 different face shapes. If you’re not a blonde with a predilection for blue eyeshadow, you might have a fighting chance at being able to find a doll that looks kind of like you.

Even though Barbies are probably one of the first tools used to make young women feel bad about themselves, this is a nice gesture. Progress(ish), finally, comes to America, Toys’R’Us and the world.


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